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Diamondbacks 7, Dodgers 2: Will the last one out of Chase Field please turn off the lights?

And leave some kibble out for Baxter, I guess...

MLB: Los Angeles Dodgers at Arizona Diamondbacks
I like pictures of sad Dodgers
Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Zach Greinke started out a little wobbly. He got two quick outs to start the first inning, but three straight singles from Muncy, Machado, and Bellinger lead to a run before he was able to get Puig to ground out, ending the inning. In the second, a lead off double from Yasmany Grandal came around to score after Dodgers’ starter Ross Stripling singled, and the call at the plate was upheld after a Dbacks challenge, giving the Dodgers a 2-0 lead.

The Diamondbacks started chipping away at that as soon as the page turned to the bottom of the second. Socrates Brito lead the inning off with a solo home run to end the shut out. AJ Pollock tripled, and then he walked home on a Nick Ahmed double, tying the game. One out later, Greinke helped himself out, hitting a single and bringing home Ahmed to give the Diamondbacks a one run lead. Marte kept things going with a single, but Escobar lined out for the second out. Peralta loaded the bases with a walk, but Paul Goldschmidt struck out against reliever Pedro Baez to leave them loaded. 3-2 Diamondbacks

Greinke and the Dodger’s bullpen kept both teams scoreless until the Diamondbacks struck again in the bottom of the fifth. Eduardo Escobar lead the inning off with a single, and Goldschmidt added another after Peralta struck out. Brito struck out for the second out, but AJ Pollock put the exclamation mark on the evening with a three run home run to straight away center field, giving the Diamondbacks a 6-2 advantage.

That was basically the ball game. Greinke went six solid innings of two runs on eight hits. Peralta added another solo home run in the bottom of the seventh, and Diekman, Zeigler, and Bradley held the Dodgers scoreless after Greinke left the game. Final score 7-2, and the Diamondbacks leave Chase Field for the final time on a winning note.

Now, excuse me for a moment while I editorialize for a moment. Can I just say what joy playing spoiler to the Dodgers these past couple days has been? I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a hollow joy, given that twenty five short days ago, we were leading the division, but it is still joy, and I’ll take it as a consolation prize, because tonight, when I log off this site, I’ll do it in the knowledge that right now the Dodgers aren’t in first place in the division, and that’s because of my Diamondbacks.

Do you know why? Because the only thing that rivals my love for this mediocre mess of a team is how much I absolutely despise the Dodgers. I hate their ownership who has dumped almost a trillion dollars into the payroll since taking control of the team, all so they could have the exact same number of World Series rings as the Diamondbacks over that time. I hate the LA media that fawns over them like the MLB equivalent of the Golden State Warriors despite the fact that they would be in fourth place in the AL East. And I hate their bandwagon fans, a significant portion of which showed up in LeBron jerseys tonight. News flash guys! That’s the wrong sport!

Is this a “shitty take”? Does this mean I write for a “joke of a fansite”? Am I “Petty”? “Insecure”? “Bitter”? “Jealous”? an “idiot”? Or even better “a whiny little upstart who wants to deny Los Angeles of its civic birthright”? Sure, I guess it does, but I’ll let you know when I care, because nothing tastes better in my morning coffee than the salty tears of Dodger fans. Don’t worry guys. When you choke against the Giants this weekend and miss out even on a Wild Card spot, I’ll have a spot saved for you on the couch.

ISH95, out.

Dodger Tears: Greinke 14.5%, Pollock 27.9%

Comment of the night goes to Rockkstarr. Technically violates the rules, so I’m not going to propagate it from the thread it’s already in, but it just fits too well with my recap theme, so here’s a link. Amen, sister.

DC had almost half of the 578 comments. All present were:

AngusDay, AzDbackfanInDc, BobDolio, DORRITO, DeadManG, FishOnEmm, GuruB, Imstillhungry95, Jack Sommers, Jim McLennan, Johnneu, Makakilo, Michael McDermott, MikeMono, MrMrrbi, Penitentiary Face, Rockkstarr12, coldblueAZ, david.munter, edbigghead, hotclaws, onedotfive, suroeste

Off day tomorrow, then three completely meaningless games in San Diego. What fun. We’ll be here. See ya.