Record: 4-1. Pace: 130-32. Change on 2016: +2.
Here we go again, another foray into beer and baseball. Hurrah!
Remember my little readers, this article is for fun (mostly mine) and should not be taken too seriously. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride!
Beer 1: Blood Orange Gose by Arizona Wilderness
- It’s Friday and it’s a beer, so we’re off to a good start regardless of how this game unfolds. My first beer for my first beercap of 2017 is a Gose by AZ Wilderness. You all thought I’d do an IPA first right!!??!?! Well......you’re wrong....mostly. I say that since I’ve had a couple IPAs while waiting for the game to start here at Wandering Tortoise.
- While we wait for the game to start we must ask the question we are all thinking......... Who really sits on the golden throne? It cannot be the Emperor because after Magnus broke the web ways in his ill advised attempt to warn the Emperor. This along with The Warmaster was too much for the God Emperor of Mankind. LIES I TELL YOU HE IS IN THE WEB WAYS FIGHTING THE WARP FOR US - Little Word Bearer
- .....OK then......Back to out regularly scheduled program. Miller starts with a K and then follows up with a solo shot. The Emperor Protects..... 0-1 Indians.
- Back to what we all want to talk about is The Warmaster. He has allowed the Indians to score. These “Indians” are nothing but heretics. The 4 gods of chaos will support the Indians but the Emperor will bring our HONORABLE AND LOYAL LEGION known as the “Diamondbacks” back in to the Great Crusade that is the world series.
- .....right......so....the Dbacks get through this HERETICAL inning with only 1 run allowed. The Emperor will be most pleased....
- FOR 10,000 years THE EMPEROR HAS SAT ON THE GOLDEN THRONE PROTECTING US!!! Apparently the Dbacks will go the same amount of time without another win.
- ....the aforementioned words are a LIE!!!! The Dbacks will prevail! Or at least they’ll try, but only if Lord Goldy can prevail
Beer 2: Symmetric Orchestra by Modern Times
- This beer, though I know not what style it is, is certainly better than Miller’s pitching thus far. 2nd inning and the bases are loaded with NO outs. That is a recipe for a drunk Turambar and a bad game. After a lone strike out and a single it’s 0-3 Indians, but its looking like more will be piled on....
- By the grace of the Emperor we only allow two runs in that inning. May the Emperor protect us beyond this madness......0-3 Indians
- Still 0-3 Indians going in to the 3rd and I sense many more ales will follow this madness. God help us all..................
Beer 3: Dymaxion IPA by Modern Times
- This beer (with its dank goodness) helps sooth the unending frustration I have with this game right now. Still....it’s not enough....
- Thanks to steady drinking before hand I’m growing gradually more impatient with this game. The Emperor Protects though, and I am certain Lord Goldy will guide the way.
- “I said move closer Dbacks. Engage those Indians at point blank range.” “At that range we wont last long against those Indians?” “Last longer than we will against this world series, and we might just take a few of them with us”
- ...Thanks Jim, that commentary just made my day. Still though, it’s the bottom of the 4th and our bats are looking pedestrian at best. Lord Goldy though..he finds a way. He gets a walk in the 4th which in turn
Beer 4: Barrel Aged Arrogant Bastard Ale by Stone Brewing
- A somewhat short Uber ride takes me from Wandering Tortoise to Papago, which in turn takes me from friend Jim, which means the Warhammer 40k references will decrease...slightly.
- 3-2 Indians and the strike out of Peralta makes me wonder if I’ve not had enough beers yet, because that strike that Blue called might have been several feet outside the zone. I’m not saying, but I am saying.
- Goldy, much like the Emperor of Mankind, gives us both warmth and hope as his 2run double gives us the lead. Praise be his name! 4-3 Dbacks
- Lamb, who is Goldy’s only begotten son, giveth another run. Praise be! 5-3 Dbacks
- Drury doth despise the Cleveland and lo, his anger delivereth another run 7-3 Dbacks
- Needless to say my mood has improved tremendously since I left Wandering Tortoise. A drastic lead change since leaving an awesome bar, usually means that bar is bad luck. So, with that in mind I’ll likely never write there again. Papago though, that haven of hope, which is no doubt somewhat responsible for the present score of this game.
- That same Haven of Hope is giving me pause to think that it’s indeed that. Wilhemsen is doing a tremendous of trying to piss away the 7th, luckily that is not the case, which in turn means I’m allowing myself another beer....7-3 Dbacks
Beer 5: Azacca IPA by Founders Brewing Co.
- Bottom of the 6th and my consumption of beer is close to critical mass. Normally this might be a bad thing, but since they appear to be playing for keeps this season I’m kinda excited.
- Doom, doom, doom goes the Goldy at-bat. 7-3 Dback yet Goldy attacks. Doom, doom, doom.
- Goldy is merciful, such is his grace....Lo, that even after such ownage Goldy doth allow another to strike out. Yay, doth the inning end with the score the same.
- Going in to the 8th, a time of madness, you’ll likly not miss much.
- Well, after several billion beer I am done. I’m sure some wise sage will keep this spot, until then, god speed.
- Well, I’m dunzo, please let anyone who say otherwise take over. I‘m done
- Ok, I’m done. Yay Dbacks.
Bells and whistles, by Jim
Click here for details, at Fangraphs.com
Gladiator: Paul Goldschmidt, +25.1%
L.A. Confidential: Tomas, +22.2%; Lamb, +10.9%; Wilhelmsen, +10.1%
Noah: A.J. Pollock, -11.8%
A lively Gameday Thread, which certainly cheered up a GREAT deal after that fifth inning! Present were: AZSunDevilP, AzDbackfanInDc, BenSharp, DbacKid, Fangdango, Gravity, GuruB, Hazzard21, I suppose I'm a Pessimist, Jackwriter, Jim McLennan, JoeCB1991, JoeyLewis, Keegan Thompson, Makakilo, Michael McDermott, MikeDavisAZ, MrMrrbi, SedonaRed24, Skii, asteroid, blue_bulldog, coldblueAZ, david.munter, edbigghead, ford.williams.10, gametime111, hotclaws, kamshing, makattack71, noblevillain, onedotfive, pcmonk, since_98, thunderpumpkin87 and tommyt_16. Long time away gravity, wins CotN on their first game back in a while:
edging out Michael’s predictive comment before the fifth inning caught fire. With Shelby Miller now having his first win at Chase Field under his belt, we’re back there tomorrow night for Zack Greinke vs. Trevor Bauer - and, Lamb bobbleheads, of course! 5:10pm first pitch, and it’ll also be our first guest recap of the season.