Arizona Diamondbacks 1, Minnesota Twins 12: Twelp

Folks, I can’t even bother to break out my laptop for this one. I really don’t even have words for this. The Arizona Diamondbacks have completely collapsed over the past month. They might only be 1.5 games out of the Wild Card officially, but the reality is so much worse than that. This team isn’t even close to resembling what we saw before the All Star Break.

Today they scored first over the Minnesota Twins with a solo home run from Lourdes Gurriel Jr. That was after Corbin Carroll almost had his hand broken in the first inning on a high and tight from Kenta Maeda.

That is about as much as I can tell you. After that, the offense disappeared, the Minnesota Twins combined for 17 hits and twelve runs, and the D’backs threw Carson Kelly in to pitch. If they don’t care, why should I?

Too lazy to grab the FanGraphs game summary. Sully Sullenberger could pull off a smoother landing than this shitshow in a drunken stupor. The life of a Valley sports fan continues.