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Snakebytes 5/11: Why sports?

I’m not particularly sure why I bother right now

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Tommy Henry sticks his tongue out while throwing a pitch
I was looking for a Diamondback player looking sad, but I just couldn’t pass this up
Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

The Suns are choke artists, CP3 is washed, Booker is unfortunately human, Mike Hazen hasn’t had a decent bullpen since the year I got married. Sports are stupid.

Tommy Henry pitched well though.

Diamondbacks news

(CBS Sports) Casey Schmitt has 4 hits for historic start; Giants beat Diamondbacks

Schmitt connected for a 443-foot home run into the second deck above the Diamondbacks’ bullpen in the second inning off Tommy Henry (1-1). Schmitt, recalled Tuesday from Triple-A Sacramento, finished 4 for 4 with a run-scoring double and is 8 for 12 with two homers and four RBIs through three games.

Hall of Famer Joe DiMaggio is the only other player since 1920 with at least eight hits, four RBIs and four runs scored through his first three games, according to OptaSTATS.

Related: How Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 forced Giants rookie Casey Schmitt to miss MLB promotion call

(SI.com) Henry Outdueled by Cobb in D-backs Loss to Giants

Tommy Henry deserved a better fate tonight. He engaged in a pitcher’s duel with Giants starter Alex Cobb, falling one mistake pitch away from matching zeros with the Giants ace. That one mistake, a hanging curve in the second inning, turned into a two-run homer by rookie sensation Casey Schmitt. Henry left the game with two outs in the 7th inning trailing 2-0. The Giants blew the game open with four runs in the top of the 9th against Jose Ruiz. The D-backs comeback efforts fell well shot despite two runs in the bottom of the ninth to make the final score 6-2.

(AZ Central) How can the Diamondbacks fix recent bullpen struggles?

On Saturday, the Diamondbacks blew a four-run ninth-inning lead, only coming out victorious thanks to a comeback of their own in the bottom half. On Sunday, they didn’t get the same bailout, turning a 7-3 lead after six into a 9-8 loss. Then, on Wednesday, they lost on a pair of ninth-inning doubles.

Now, all of a sudden, the Diamondbacks bullpen has a 4.70 ERA, a tick worse than last year’s mark of 4.58. So how do they fix it?

MLB News

(ESPN) Marlins to promote top pitching prospect Eury Perez for MLB debut

The Marlins announced Wednesday that they will promote Perez, 20, from Double-A Pensacola to start Friday’s home game. At 20 years and 27 days old, Perez will become the youngest Marlins pitcher, ahead of the late Jose Fernandez (20 years, 253 days), who debuted in 2013.

(NBC Boston) Red Sox Closer Kenley Jansen Becomes 7th MLB Player to Achieve This Feat

Boston Red Sox closer Kenley Jansen accomplished a rare feat Wednesday night when he secured a 5-2 win over the Atlanta Braves on the road.

He picked up the 400th save of his MLB career, making him just the seventh player in the history of the sport to reach that milestone.

(ESPN+) The X factors that will shape the 2023 MLB trade deadline

In recent seasons, several real difference-makers have been swapped before the deadline, from Manny Machado in 2018 to Soto and Josh Hader in 2022. But some execs don’t see a lot of significant help shaking free this summer, partly because the likely sellers’ rosters are — to put it mildly — really, really bad. “You look at a team like [Oakland],” said one front-office type. “Who on that roster is going to be a difference-maker?”