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Diamondbacks 5, Padres 7: The Drugs Don't Work

The Padres harshed the D-backs’ mellow on 4/20

Record: 11-9. Pace: 89-73. Change on 2022: +3.

Well, it's 4/20, and with the big news of the day (Madbum DFA) it's already been fantastic. Hopefully the Dbacks will keep good vibes going with today's game, but I'm less than optimistic.

Yes I know its a lot. I buy it on sale.
A quick look at the strains I'll be smoking this evening
C. Wesley Baier

As per tradition. I'll be reviewing strains while watching the game. My pregame is a dab of Goldsmith Brand Distillate, in Unicorn. This distillate tastes EXACTLY like cotton candy, and absolutely slaps. If you're unfamiliar with concentrates and dabbing, just don't. You'll have a bad time, m’kay? A TINY amount will leave you coughing your lungs out and the room spinning, and even with my massive tolerance, I still feel it immediately! Leave concentrates for the experienced experts like myself.

For the first inning, I’ll be starting with some Josh D OG, and the Dbacks will start with Ryne Nelson. The Dbacks feed on Bally Sports was way behind, as before the game even started on the live, feed he got Fernando Tatis Jr, Juan Soto, and Manny Machado out on strikes. As for the Josh D OG, it's a very standard tasting higher end strain, with citrus, pine, and mild skunky notes.

With the Feed thankfully caught up, we head to the bottom of the inning with Josh Rojas leading off against Padres starter Michael Wacha, who lifted the very first pitch for a fly ball out to left. Lourdes Gurriel then floated the second pitch of the game over the head of Xander Boegarts into shallow left. Corbin Carroll then hit the first pitch he faced too, into center right for the second out. Christian Walker actually faced more than a pitch, working the count to full, before hitting a single and advancing Gurriel to third, but Jake McCarthy flew out to center to end the first.

For inning two, I sampled some Triple Burger, which was actually really good, especially if you're a fan of those extra funky strains like I am.

Ryne Nelson faced Boegarts, who popped up to Walker in foul ground for the first out, but Jake Cronenworth managed to draw a walk after working the count full, and Matt Carpenter managed to draw a second walk to put runners on first and second with only one out. That quickly drew a mound visit to slow down the action. Ha-Seong Kim got two quick strikes from Jameson, before two balls made the count 2-2, and finally striking out on the fifth pitch for the second out. Trent Grisham doubled to right, scoring both baserunners to put the D'Backs down 2-0. Austin Nola thankfully ground out to end the top of the second inning without further damage.

Gabriel Moreno actually showed some patience to lead off the bottom of the inning, seeing five pitches before lining out. Alek Thomas doubled, but Nick Ahmed grounded out for the second out of the inning on the first pitch. Geraldo Perdomo lined one in to the right corner, scoring Thomas and safely evading the tag at third for a triple. With the Dbacks now down just a run, Josh Rojas actually worked the count to full before a pitch clock violation by Wacha made it a walk, putting runners on the corner for Lourdes Gurriel Jr, who struck out, stranding both runners.

For inning three I took a break just to space all these out. I don't think I could do another nine strains for nine innings with flower again. The pace is much too quick now!

Ryne Nelson got Fernando Tatis Jr to ground out for the first out of the inning. Juan Soto then walked. Manny Machado flew out, but Xander Boegarts hit a two-run run homerun to make it 4-1. Jake Cronenworth flew out to end the top of the inning.

In the bottom of the inning Corbin Carroll hit a ground out for the first out, but Christian Walker doubled to put a runner on second for Jake McCarthy. He struck out on a foul tip for the second out of the inning. Gabriel Moreno worked the count to full, then lifted the ball into center left but was robbed by a diving Trent Grisham, ending the third.

For the fourth inning, I sampled a strain called Cream Saverz which was by far the strongest at 27% THC. Once you get into strains that are that strong, it all just tastes the same in my opinion.

Nelson faced off against Matt Carpenter, who homered to right to lead off, making the score 5-1. Nelson would retire Ha-Seong Kim on a flyout, and then Trent Grisham and Austin Nola on ground outs to end top of the fourth.

Thomas singled to lead off. Ahmed ground out to Machado at third for the first out of the inning, but Thomas advanced to second. Geraldo Perdomo singled, advancing Thomas to third, then moved up to second on the play thanks to some heads up baserunning. Josh Rojas then lined a single in left, scoring Thomas AND an aggressive Perdomo who was safe despite a play at the plate and ignoring the signs to stay at third. D-backs now down two runs to the Padres, 5-3. Gurriel doubled, scoring Rojas, making the score 5-4. Gurriel then advanced to third after a pitch got away from catcher Austin Nola. ANOTHER pitch gets away from Nola while Corbin Carroll is batting, allowing Gurriel to score. 5-5. Carroll keeps the inning going, lining a single into center. Jake McCarthy hits the ball right at Kim at second to end the fourth. Tie game.

For inning five, I sampled Garlic Crusher. Sounds gross, but this is a strain that is fantastic for pain, and it doesn’t actually taste like garlic.

Nelson got Tatis Jr to line out for the first out, then Juan Soto and Manny Machado to ground out for a very quick top of the fifth. Brent Honeywell relieved Michael Wacha for the Padres. Gabriel Moreno lined out to center right for the first out. Alek Thomas ground out for the second out, but Nick Ahmed singled putting a runner on first with two outs for Geraldo Perdomo, who hit a shattered bat ground out to second, ending the inning

Top of the sixth and the cannabis has caught up with me a little. Time for another break. The pitch clock makes it almost too much even for me to smoke this much this fast. 0/10 would not recommend for you.

Kyle Nelson replaced Ryne Nelson and for a brief moment I was a little confused. Boegarts singled to lead off, but Nelson struck out Cronenworth for the first out of the inning. Nelson Cruz pinch hit for Matt Carpenter, prompting a mound visit. Cruz hits it right at Ahmed who bobbles the ball allowing Cruz to reach safely. Nelson gets Kim to infield pop up for the second out, but Trent Grisham doubles, scoring both runners, putting the Dbacks down 7-5. Scott McGough relieves Kyle Nelson, and gets Austin Nola to mercifully end the top of the inning by grounding out.

On to the bottom of the inning. And back to sampling strains. We’ll go with the terribly named ‘Dirty Squirt’ which is what the pitching in this game remind me of. It is definitely the strain with the strongest aroma. If you don’t like the smell of cannabis, you’re definitely NOT gonna like this one.

Rojas leads off against Honeywell, who pokes a single into left center. Thanks to an errant pick off throw with Gurriel batting, Rojas advanced to second, then to third on a fly out, but Carroll pops up on a 3-0 count for the second out, then Christian Walker strikes out to end the inning, and stranding Rojas at third.

Scott McGough goes back out for the top of the seventh, striking out Tatis Jr for the first out, then Juan Soto to ground out for the second out. then strikes out Manny Machado. for the third out. Tim Hill relieves Brent Honeywell for the bottom of the seventh. Jake McCarthy grounds out for the first out but is just barely out at first. Gabriel Moreno strikes out for the second out, and Alek Thomas flies out to left to the end the inning, sending it to the 8th.

McGough goes back out for the 8th. At this point I’m tapped out and borderline couch locked for the time being.

Bogaerts grounds out, and McGough is relieved by Anthony Misiewicz, making his Dbacks debut. Misiewicz gives up a ground rule double to Cronenworth. A wild pitch with Nelson Cruz batting advances Cronenworth to third, but Cruz strikes out for the second out of the inning, and Ha-Seong Kim strikes out for the third. Steven Wilson relieves Tim Hill, and Pavin Smith pinch hits for Nick Ahmed, but Smith strikes out on four pitches for the first out. Geraldo Perdomo then strikes out for the second out, and Josh Rojas lines out to right, thanks to a running catch by Tatis Jr.

Top of the ninth inning, Pavin stays in right taking over for McCarthy, Perdomo slides over to short, Ketel Marte takes over at second, and replaces Ahmed in the lineup. Misiewicz faces off against Trent Grisham to start the inning, who walks to lead off the inning. Jose Ruiz then relieves Misiewicz to face Austin Nola. Grisham takes off to attempt to steal second, and Gabriel Moreno throws him out at second for the first out of the inning. The Padres challenge the call based on Marte’s tag, but the call stands thankfully, as Nola lines a single into center. An issue with the pitch com again slows the game to a standstill with Tatis Jr batting, but once the issue is resolved, he quickly lines the ball right at Corbin Carroll for the second out, and Juan Soto grounds out to Perdomo at short for the third out, sending it to the bottom of the ninth.

I’d smoke another one of the strains I have left, but I’m definitely tapped at this point. Too much too fast. Josh Hader relieves Wilson to face Gurriel, Carroll, and Walker, but a pop out, a fly out, and a strike out ends the game. DBACKS LOSE 7-5, and my JUJU doesn't work in games I write. D-backs are now 6-1 in games I've watched this season.

Bells and whistles, by Jim

Click here for details, at
The Big Lebowski: Josh Rojas, +17.9%
Half Baked: Geraldo Perdomo, +10.9%
Reefer Madness: Kyle Nelson, -27.0%
Evil Bong: R. Nelson, -24.3%; Carroll, -18.2%; McCarthy, -15.1%; Moreno, -11.2%

Credit to the team for coming back from 5-1 down to tie things up, but in the end, the key was probably the three walks issued by Ryne Nelson - all of which scored. The D-backs only had one walk the entire game. Comment of the night to KJKrug, reminding us that the team are still in a better place now, than they were last night. Just not in the standings [the Dodgers win, so the lead is down to one game...]

Same two teams tomorrow night, and Zac Gallen will be attempting to extend his scoreless streak further. Dano will be bringing you the recap, and I have heard word that he will be doing so on a hellish cocktail of fentanyl and meth. Should be fun! Thanks to Wes for maintaining this fine SnakePit tradition...