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PYW’s 2022: Week 22

What punishment should Ketel Marte face in Kangaroo Court?

The winner of the PGA Championship poses in with his trophy in the player’s locker room Photo by Andrew Redington/Getty Images

This week’s episode of PYW’s is brought to you by... Not Giving Up Runs! We’ve all been there. You’re on a mediocre team, with a mediocre offense. You can’t count on anyone to back you up, so what do you do? Try simply just Not Giving Up Runs! Advanced statistics show that when the other team just doesn’t score your odds of winning drastically increase! Try it today!

Last week, I asked you fine folk to heap punishments upon Ketel Marte in Kangaroo Court for the crime of poor play from a star player. Only a couple responses, but I think that speaks a lot to the Pit’s opinion of Marte... We’ve all kind of just moved on. Anyway, with just a single rec, we find Nik in third place!

Ketel owes each member of the team with a positive WAR value of at least 1 full point, 1 million dollars of his new extension for each full point of WAR at the end of the season. This of course can be negated if between now and the end of the season Ketel manages to be worth more than every other player on the team.

Hope he has a good line of credit set up. I’m not even sure his extension covers those kind of expenses...

In second place, we find MrRbi with two recs!

After every 0-fer game, Ketel is denied access to the post game spread and must eat Wheaties cereal over Ketel One vodka

That’s just mean... Bad cereal and bad vodka... But I guess it goes with the theme of bad play!

Rounding out the podium this week is gzimmerm and Jack with five recs each!

In honor of his best known recurring injury, Ketel must purchase a ham dinner with all the fixins for each teammate’s family. — gzimmerm

If I’m Ketel’s agent, I’m getting clarification on the word family. Depending on what that means, again, I’m not sure if his contract will pay for that...

He has to wear this ugly hat the rest of the season (followed by a picture of Jack wearing the godawful Ketel hat that they gave away last weekend) — Jack Sommers

The UN just called an emergency meeting to add that hat to the Geneva Convention

With that Jack’s first place finish, and Nik’s third place spot, they are now tied for first at 22 rec’s a piece, but the top five are all within seven recs with just three weeks to go

Standings

Players Recs
Players Recs
Jack Sommers 22
NikT77 22
Diamondhacks 17
gzimmerm 16
MrRbi17 15
Xerostomia 10
GuruB 5
SpencerSpice 4
FatElvis04 3
Kilnborn 3
Rockkstarr12 3
M_lopez 2
Preston Salisbury 2
TucsonTim 1

Well, after a couple weeks of tantalizing, if unlikely, potential, it’s looking like the Diamondbacks will not be making a Cinderella run to the playoffs this year. Because of that, it’s time to start making offseason plans. Choose one Diamondback and tell us what they will spend their offseason doing? Go!