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PYW’s 22: Week 14

So what are we doing with Melancon’s salary, folks?

Two wheel chair tennis champions hold a crystal cup trophy after winning the British Open Wheelchair Tennis Championships Photo by Ashley Allen/Getty Images for LTA

This weeks episode of PYW’s is brought to you by... The All Star Game! We tried Making It Count (tm). We tried Making It NOT Count (also TM). Now we’re just begging. Please, for the love of god, just watch it. We get it, you have to watch over 180 of these every year if your team makes it to the World Series and don’t really need an extra exhibition game, but watch it? For us? Please?

Welcome back! Last week, I asked you to come up with better ways that Ken Kendrick could have spent the $14 million that was instead given to Mark Melancon to be our “closer” and boy did you all have some ideas. Lots of contestants made the podium this week, so let’s jump right in. In third place, we have a three way tie between Jack, gzimmerm, and Xerostomia with three recs each!

A rodeo retrofit for Chase field for the offseason to feature the Mason Saunders Wild West Revue. - gzimmerm
A foolproof state of the art security and lock system for the bullpen gate — Jack Sommers
Mandatory monorail stop in the stadium with forced evacuation of passengers during games. Followed by two Simpsons gifs, one of a singing train conductor singing “monorail” and a chorus of old guys saying once again. The second is of a monorail evacuating down the blow up slides with a Simpson-fied Leonard Nimoy saying his work here is done. — Xerostomia

Okay but seriously, if the Diamondbacks had any sense, they’d have a rodeo at Chase in the offseason and let Mason Saunders compete. It would sell out.

In second place, we find MrRbi17 with 4 recs!

I would suggest purchasing Big Ben from England, since it is now in working order. It would make a nice centerpiece and could even be in the field of play with steel supports and padding. Precedent for this exists with London Bridge in Lake Havasu City.

Is that why they said they weren’t going to replace the centerfield clock? They were just waiting for the right clock to come up on the waiver wire? Awesome!

And in first place, after intentionally tanking the first half /glares, we find... Diamondhacks with 7 recs!

“Stay-Put” Non Decapitating Roof Cables (Value Pack) Remaining balance toward one professional haircut for Mr. Kendrick

One of those isn’t believable, and somehow it isn’t the roof cables...

And for the first time in the second half, let’s look at the standings!

Standings

Players Recs
Players Recs
Diamondhacks 7
MrRbi17 4
gzimmerm 3
Jack Sommers 3
Xerostomia 3

Hacks starts off the second half with a bang, jumping out to an early three rec lead. MrRbi and the Field are not too far behind, though,

It’s a busy week coming up in baseball, with the Draft, HR Derby, All Star Game, and more! It’s a pretty tried-and-true, by which I mean stale and boring, format. Your challenge this week is to come up with a new All Star Week event to spice things up. Make sure it’s full of made-for-social-media drama! Go!