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Snake Bytes 7/14: Mike Hazen... it’s time to replace Mark Melancon and move someone else into the closer role.

M_Lopez, armchair GM reporting for duty.

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MLB: Arizona Diamondbacks at San Francisco Giants Sergio Estrada-USA TODAY Sports

I don’t even have to look up the stats, add graphs or analytics. The fact of the matter is this: Mark Melancon is not what he used to be. In fact, he is not a closer. POINT BLANK. I took an eye test. Mike Hazen takes a huge L for signing Melancon and frankly all of the other over-the-hill relievers and closers under his tenure. Bro, STOP IT ALREADY. Us armchair GM’s know better, we've watched this broken down jalopy for season upon season now. When will YOU, MIKE HAZEN, learn? Are you just a collector of bad, aging arms? I know many fans agree with the frustration that I am spewing but in all honesty we are tired as hell with this show.

Mike, you allowed Torey to go with hitting coach Mather who has reduced an already impotent offense into a caged-cuckold reality. Is that on you, or Torey? There are no runs. 3 out of 4 games we are one run from victory. Then, OOOPS MELANCON. The other games, well, Carson Kelly comes in to relieve. Where is the damn offense? On top of that Mike, you sign IPK and Mark Melancon as the backend roles for the BP - aging dinosaurs. And what have they done? Nothing. Check your nerd-book. Nothing. Specifically Melancon? Even more nothing, bro. Now I understand KK doesn't want to dish out any money for a winner. He is too busy doing backflips into his pile of gold, scrooge McDuck style. I get that. But what little money KK does offer you to spend, you yourself decide to squander it on nonsense. Nonsense that us fans can see a mile away. Enough is enough. We have had it.

Diamondback’s News:

Diamondbacks lose on ninth-inning walk-off

Tell me if you have heard this before, bro.

“You don’t ever budget for pinch hit home runs. They don’t happen very often,” Diamondbacks manager Torey Lovullo said. “I just think it was a pitch that a good hitter was waiting for.”

Crawford’s RBI single completes Giant’s rally past D-backs

Wilmer Flores tied the game in the eighth with a pinch-hit homer. Brandon Belt started the rally with a solo homer in the seventh as the Giants took two of three from the D-backs and won their first series since June 17-19 at Pittsburgh.

“I think momentum can definitely go both ways,” Crawford said, “and hopefully we can take this momentum and turn it into some more wins going forward.”

Mark Melancon takes 8th loss

Melancon (3-8) allowed one earned run on three hits and one walk while striking out one across 0.1 innings to take the loss Wednesday against the Giants.

Ain’t no fang podcast: Trades we would like to see the Diamondbacks make

The first decision is whether or not to trade older veterans like David Peralta and Ian Kennedy. They may be valuable to other teams, but the prospect return may not be abundant.

AZ Secretary of State candidate Michelle Ugenti-Rita points to her impact on elections

Fair warning, I do not care about the politics of this article. I added it because Ken Kendrick’s wife is somehow involved.

Last year, she defied Gov. Doug Ducey’s plan to award sports betting licenses to sports teams, calling it a giveaway to deep-pocketed sports owners when the state should have retained more of the revenue for its coffers. That prompted a “very inappropriate letter” from Randy Kendrick, wife of Arizona Diamondbacks owner Ken Kendrick, she said.

Dansville’s own Joe Mantiply humbled by MLB All-Star selection

“A couple of different organizations gave up on him, and luckily he landed in ours,” said Diamondback manager Torey Lovullo when he announced the selection to the team.

Mantiply also had Tommy John surgery on his arm in 2018.

“Those experiences really taught me if I really wanted to do it or not,” he explains. “There were definitely times when I could have thrown in the hat, but thanks to my support system, my family kept pushing me. In this game there are a lot of things outside your control. I always believed in myself.”

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37 mins later, BASEBALL!

welcome to the top of the 3rd inning

/why are we losing fans?

Baseball News:

DODGERS, GIANTS among teams with interest in Brandon Drury

I liked him, but he wasn’t .WAR enough for ya’ll

Reds infielder Brandon Drury is among the more obvious candidates to be traded in the coming weeks, as he’s having an excellent year and is an impending free agent on one of the worst teams in baseball. He was placed in the 13th slot on MLBTR’s recent list of top trade candidates. Andy Martino of SNY took a look at some trade candidates that make sense for the Mets, listing Drury among them, but noting that the Dodgers and Giants are “showing more interest” in Drury right now.

Blue Jays fire Charlie Montoyo amid disappointing season

“I just want to start by saying how difficult a decision this has been. I wanted to make it work with Charlie. I’m extremely disappointed with where we are,” GM Ross Atkins told reporters, including FAN 590. “... This is a collective setback, and ultimately this starts with me.”

Paul Goldschmidt, Jazz Chisholm among former Dbacks in 2022 All Star game

Other former D-backs include:

J.D Martinez

Dansby Swanson

Starling Marte

Did I miss anyone?