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Diamondbacks 11, Nationals 2: Oh, THERE’S the offense.

The D-backs had scored 22 runs over their first 11 games. They upped that total by 50% tonight in Washington.

New Yorkers Celebrate 4/20 Day In Washington Square Park Photo by Alexi Rosenfeld/Getty Images

I should be honest. I am a terrible Diamondbacks fan. It’s redundant saying this, but I don’t really watch the team play on TV all that often, unless they have made the playoffs, or it is Opening Day.

I can’t use the excuse of “the regular season is boring” either, as what interests me about baseball has always been even more boring than actually watching live (bad) baseball. I am much more interested in the player development and statistical analysis aspect of the fandom. I have been excited about this season, especially with this fresh crop of talented prospects coming up. I haven’t been excited about this dreadfully mediocre major league roster.

The only reason why I volunteered to write this recap is because today is 4/20. I had planned to use it as an excuse to consume copious amounts of cannabis and write about baseball while high, and write a funny Weedcap style recap, as per tradition. Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we plan, and I wasn’t able to procure the requisite funds required to make another “nine strains in nine innings” article happen. I actually started writing this article clear headed. I stopped, went outside, and then did multiple dabs of a cannabis concentrate in the spirit of the holiday, and then coughed my lungs out for the next twenty minutes.

Another confession: I didn’t really watch the first two innings of this game, and only started paying any attention to the game until the fourth inning. I was too busy video chatting with my girlfriend and had lost track of time. To my own credit, I did at least put it on the living room television before the game started, with the full intention of watching the entire game, and I *did* read the play by play, and scanned the box score multiple times while writing this.

To my surprise and delight, I didn’t need the nine different strains to make watching the team tolerable, as the Diamondbacks fired on all cylinders with some great pitching and offense.

Merrill Kelly turned in a quality start, shutting out the Nationals through the first five innings, before coughing up a run in the sixth. Kelly went six innings total, allowing just one run on six hits and a walk, while striking out five. As I said before, I didn’t actually start watching the game until the D-backs were up 1-0, and when I sat down to actually paid attention to the game they were up 4-0 in the top of the third. Maybe Jim or someone else can provide the details of all of what happened before that. [Jim: The D-backs did their best to squander chances in the second, scoring only once after loading the bases with no outs. But RBI hits by Christian Walker and Seth Beer, plus a Pavin Smith sacrifice fly made it 4-0 after three]

I started giving the game my full attention In the top of the fourth inning, Jonny Hernandez singled, stole second, and Daulton Varsho followed that up with a two run home run to put Diamondbacks up 6-0. Ketel Marte then singled, Peralta popped out for the second out of the inning, and Walker walked to put runners on first and second for Seth Beer. Beer doubled, scoring Marte and Walker, and putting the Dbacks up 8-0.

The Dbacks tacked on three more runs in the top of the fifth. Carson Kelly led off with a ground ball single up the middle to centerfield. Sergio Alcantara walked. Yonny Hernandez reached on a throwing error, scoring Kelly. Varsho then ground out scoring Alcantara, and Marte ground out scoring Hernandez, to put the D-backs up 11-0. The rest of what happened at the plate was really uneventful and no other runs scored, but I wasn't paying attention.

Kelly allowed a run in the bottom of the sixth, making the score 11-1. Corbin Martin relieved Kelly for the seventh. Although he did allow a run, making the score 11-2, he settled down and pitched a scoreless eighth inning. Kyle Nelson relieved Martin for ninth inning, and pitched an uneventful scoreless inning, with a pair of strikeouts.

Overall, a very well played game. Maybe I should follow more games on television, since the team seems to almost always win when I am watching it ok television. I'll see you all back on 7/10, the other cannabis holiday.

Bells and whistles, by Jim

The only other thing I’d like to add was an amusing message Mrs. SnakePit sent me this afternoon: “Did you see they evacuated the Capitol in DC because of the baseball pregame show?” I was not aware of that. Apparently, what happened was “The Golden Knights parachuted into the stadium, blocks from the Capitol, as part of Military Appreciation Night. There was a miscommunication between Capitol Police and the organizers of the pregame events, two Capitol Police sources said. Initially, police ordered the building to evacuate, saying in an email to staffers at the Capitol, The USCP is tracking an aircraft that poses a probable threat to the Capitol Complex.” Oops. They were lucky not to get a missile up them!

Click for details at Fangraphs.com
Benny Hill: Seth Beer, +19.6%
Hill's Angels: M. Kelly, +14.7%; Walker, +13.1%
Benny and the Jets: C. Kelly, -7.8%

Comment of the threat to kilnborn:

Back to the park again tomorrow, for the finale, with the D-backs having a chance to snatch a split of the four-game series. It is (sigh...) another day game, though only somewhat, with a 1:05 pm first pitch, Arizona time. Zach Davies will start for the visitors, and we’ll see whether the offense remains as awake as it was tonight. The Diamondbacks managed to score 11 runs, on only five hits with runners in scoring position...