D-Backs Potpourri: Ghost Town

You would think a game during the middle of the week during the daytime between a team that is still technically alive for the playoffs but fundamentally dead and a team that gave up when they had that homegrown core everyone pines for would be more well-attended, but it wasn’t.

A look at the starting lineups for both teams had the feel of a Triple-A game with Eduardo Escobar on a rehab assignment. During the legends race, the Matt Williams mascot just gave up at the start and sat in the stands, which he could do because they were empty. (Is this a metaphor for his managerial stint for the Nationals? Most likely yes.)

Wednesday’s Diamondbacks-Marlins tilt is a nice look into the present-day of baseball. Not just in the literal sense that at the time it was the present-day of baseball, but more an embodiment of the zeitgeist. Two teams that, in their own way, never really tried to win this year off the field, even as the guys on the field gave it their best to the thrill of 8s of thousands.

The Marlins are one of four teams that are, most likely, going to lose 100 games this season.

I don’t recall the attendance being announced over the PA.

That all being said, going to a game is always fun, and this was my first time sitting in the 200 section, which isn’t technically a luxury box, but to someone used to sitting in the upper bleachers fighting off bats and mutants that live in the scaffolding, it felt like it.

In the event that they move out of Chase for their luxury palace for the super-wealthy in Paradise Valley or whatever, they should just turn the whole stadium into those cafeteria seating areas for people who need a place to write their dead-on-arrival screenplay on their laptops. Or just into a bar. There were some guys at a bar area nearby that I’m pretty sure were there the entire game and didn’t once venture out to watch any part of it from a seat. Seems like a wise financial investment to pay lots of money to get into a place to pay lots more money than usual to drink, but what do I know.

Also having someone serve you at a baseball game from your seat is odd, but I went with it. Shout out to Ezra in section 215 for being cool and helpful.

Though in an actual luxury box nearby, someone was attempting to start The Wave. While this was happening the soundtrack to Les Miserables started playing in my head and my thoughts became guillotine-centric.

Something that happened during the game that annoyed me was that the fan that caught Starlin Castro’s home run early in the game threw it back, a “tradition” I’ve always hated. The Chicago Cubs are responsible for a lot of bad things in the world (Annoying online discourse, basically being run as a hedge fund that funnels money to the worst people on the planet, making Steve Bartman go into hiding for no good reason, etc.) and throwing the ball back might be up there.

If I caught a home run ball hit by an opposing player, and it was at a game so lightly attended, I would keep it. I would also hold it up to the sky and yell towards Mike Leake or whoever (usually Mike Leake) “I ONLY POSSESS THIS BECAUSE OF YOUR FOLLY. GAZE ON IT AND KNOW YOU HAVE FAILED!”

In the American League, there will be at least one 90 win team (One of Tampa Bay, Cleveland, or Oakland, most likely) that will miss the playoffs. Meanwhile in the National League, the two wild card winners will most likely finish with around 85-87 wins.

In my time as a sports analyst and writer, I can sum this up pretty succiently, but in a way that conveys the ups and downs fans of those teams must be feeling, as well as the nature of the universe:

Lol that shit’s funny as hell.

Thanks as always for reading. Only one more Friday left in the season. It’ll be a doozy. Unless it isn’t. Haven’t decided yet.