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Snake Bytes 7/18: Snake-pile on Texas!

Many dongs, many doubles, many runs, Texas troubles.

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MLB: Arizona Diamondbacks at Texas Rangers
Lamb is back stretch Cadillac fruit cocktails.
Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

What an explosive offensive game for the Arizona Diamondbacks last night. Among the D-back’s offensive swarm was Kevin Cron’s massive dong in the top of the 2nd inning. Behold. In all the D-backs scored 19 runs on 21 hits with Eduardo Escobar mashing two home runs of his own.

Diamondbacks News:

Diamondbacks 19, Ranger 4 - Throw in the Damn Towel!

You know the story quite well by now. The Diamondbacks swept and killed the Rangers after finalizing a BRUTAL beat down of Texas in yesterday’s game. Dyson did leave with a leg cramp, so we must pray to Crom for a quick recovery and much hydration for Dyson. Our list of outfielders grows thin.

D-backs set new team record for runs scored in 1st 2 innings of game.

“The D-backs scored 14 runs in the game’s first three innings, the most in the first three innings of an MLB game since the New York Yankees scored 15 runs four years ago, also at the Rangers.”

David Peralta takes swings.

Peralta has been experiencing shoulder problems since may.

D-backs deploy bevy of scouts ahead of multiple trade-dealine scenarios.

Tons of good Hazen and Porter quotes in this one regarding the scouting process and more.

“First and foremost, it’s exciting,” Diamondbacks Assistant General Manager Jared Porter said. “It gives our scouts an opportunity to really impact the future of the organization, either short-term or long-term. And it could be both, of course.”

D-backs face off against the Brewers at Chase field tonight at 6:40 p.m. Davies v Kelly.

Around Baseball.

MLB hopes to install International Draft in 2020 or 2021, report says.

“Here’s more, courtesy of Badler, the foremost expert on international dealings:”

Based on what MLB told team personnel yesterday, the most recent draft concept would be 20 rounds, with teams allowed to trade picks. Every pick would have a hard slot value, so if a team drafts a player and the slot value is $1 million, that player would sign for $1 million. Picks in the top three rounds would be protected for clubs, so if a team drafted a player in one of those rounds who didn’t sign, it would potentially receive compensation in the following year’s draft.

MLB moves toward uniform patches.

“We’re examining the patch, but clearly we have things to work through first,” MLB executive vice president of business and sales Noah Garden told Lefton. “I’d say it’s inevitable down the road, but certainly not immediate. This is something that requires a fairly long runway. There are lots of things to take into consideration, but I think we will get there.”

Atlantic League coach thrown out for arguing over automated strike zone.

I would love to be a low-minors league coach. Beer gut, hanging with the fans, getting tossed for arguing stuff like this - what a dream!

Off topic SNAKE news:

The Cubs are handling this ‘Beer Snake’ situation all wrong.

The cubs won’t let the people put beer cups together to make a beer snake? The same team that has Addison Russell, known wife beater playing

— not glovebox (@jtglover8) July 17, 2019

There’s two things I love most in this world. Beers and Snakes. Shame on the Cubs for ruining a good time. Official Brute Squad policy is to destroy Cubs fans, but in this case the Brute Squad stands with these fans. Cheers boys.