Yesterday, while reading twitter to catch up on sports stuff and the evolution of our hell world, this popped up.
BREAKING: The Tampa Bay Rays have received MLB's permission to explore becoming two-city team: the Tampa Bay area and Montreal, sources tell ESPN. The plan: Play early-season home games in the Tampa Bay area and finish the season in Montreal. News at ESPN: https://t.co/X6uSt4KLfC— Jeff Passan (@JeffPassan) June 20, 2019
And you thought our unnecessary stadium drama was bad!
Obviously, the logistics of this means that no player would ever want to sign, be drafted by, or traded to the Exrays. I wouldn’t want to be an accountant trying to figure out salary concerns. Obviously it wouldn’t work and it’s not going to happen.
Is it another way to threaten Tampa/St. Pete so that they can succumb into the publicly-funded stadium grift? Absolutely. Between the opener and this, the Rays really are innovating.
The Diamondbacks can and should one-up them, though.
I propose this spot for the new Diamondbacks stadium:
That’s right. Who needs a monument to the fact that random whims of federalism put the borders of four states right up against each other when you can have a damn baseball park in FOUR STATES AT ONCE. The Ariutcolonewmexico Diamondbacks can be born!
Build the pitcher’s mound right on the intersection point. Wherever you sit in the stadium is subject to different state’s sales tax laws. All the beer in left field is watered down. You can have Cypress Hill perform a concert in the right field concourse. Insert some random stereotype about New Mexico here! An announcer could yell “HE HIT IT ALL THE WAY TO UTAH!” about a foul pop-up on the third base side.
It would be a nightmare, nobody would come to the middle of nowhere, BUT four states could split the stadium instead of forcing it all on one.
Sure, the Diamondbacks have actually won a World Series and bother to sign free agents occasionally, but you need to one-up the expansion cousins one more time!
A former Diamondbacks pitcher who I’m not naming because I don’t want to be yelled at by dudes named “Chet” on twitter seems to be getting a lot of glowing profiles lately despite the following:
- Is a terrible human being publicly and privately. According to the only inside source I’ve ever cultivated in 7 years of writing for this site, by that I mean overhear at a Tucson Padres game years ago, that directly lead him to being traded from Arizona. We all owe Kevin Towers a posthumous apology.
- Has had only one statistically great season of pitching.
If we’re gonna be doing that, why not write profiles on other pitchers who fit criteria 2? Ian Kennedy is still around, and he’s smart enough to not be on twitter.
How I feel about the Diamondbacks seems to vary from week-to-week. This coincides with how the Diamondbacks seem to perform from week to week. I think the most optimistic goal within the realm of reality is a Wild Card spot. Or maybe find a fifth starter at some point. Who knows.
The dreaded Dodgers seem to be running away with the NL West again, so it made me think of what my non-Diamondbacks goal for how I want the season to play out would be. I think I’ve found them.
Make the Dodgers the new Buffalo Bills.
They’re already halfway there by losing the last two World Series, let’s see them get into two more... and lose embarrassingly, and no Don Beebe moment for them.
Petty? Yeah. I don’t care. Let me have my hate.