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Diamondbacks 1, Rockies 8: The Weedcap

Wesley smokes nine different strains for nine innings, while watching the Dbacks lose

MLB: Colorado Rockies at Arizona Diamondbacks Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports, SBNation, Vox Media do not support or endorse the usage of any kind of illegal drug. If you’re going to use Cannabis, or have to use medical Cannabis, get the appropriate Medical Card for your state, or move to a state where it is legal. In addition, I highly advise anyone against consuming this much cannabis in this short of a time span. I normally never consume this amount in a day, let alone in the span of three hours.

With Turambar’s Beercaps being a Snakepit tradition, I jokingly suggested that since I have my Arizona MMJ card, that I should do a Weedcap. Nine strains for nine innings, against a state with legal recreational weed. I shouldn’t have made that joke, especially knowing in hindsight that the Dbacks would lose like that. Losing 8 to 1 is a real buzzkill, man.

First inning strain: Champa Cheese from Tucson SAINTS - Champa Cheese is a wonderful, lower strength Indica/Sativa Hybrid strain that was bred to have a 1:1 THC:CBD ratio. Strains that have a high CBD level have a broad range of benefits, but the 1:1 ratio in particular is great for pain. Champa Cheese tastes very light, herbaceous, earthy, with very light notes of Brie cheese, pear, and just a subtle generic fruity flavor. It’s worth noting with all of these strain tastings that there is of course a skunky pot smell to varying extents. Some smell super strong, others don’t smell all that much. This strain doesn’t really smell that strong of that generic pot smell. This one doesn’t do much to me mentally, and is one of the strains I normally use to treat my fibromyalgia symptoms. I was experiencing some generalized achiness, and allodynia (the feeling of your skin crawling), and nerve pain, and this greatly alleviated all of those symptoms while not making me feel high.

In the top of the first: Charlie Blackmon lead off with a double. Trevor Story and David Dahl struck out, but Nolan Arenado hit a no-doubter home run to the left field bleacher seats.

In the bottom of the first: Senzatela sounds like some kind of charcuterie or cheese. You go to your delicatessen and get a half pound of Senzatela, to go with that loaf of rye you got at the bakery. Jarrod Dyson grounded out to the second baseman. David Peralta hit a two out single to right and Adam Jones walked, but Eduardo Escobar flied out to center.

Inning Two: Race Fuel. Another Tucson SAINTS strain, Race Fuel is hybrid Indica/sativa cannabis strain that’s energetic, uplifting, that promotes creativity, and helps with fatigue. Race Fuel is one of the few go to strains that I use regularly when writing. The name is quite fitting, as it does almost taste like the smell of gasoline (but somehow in a good way?) mixed with tropical fruits. This is one of those weird strains that can have very different effects depending on how much you consume of it. A little is uplifting, helps fatigue tremendously, and as the name suggests it does give you quite a bit of energy, but smoke a lot and it puts you on the floor.. At this point I’m at a 2/10, more hyperactive than stoned.

Top of the second: Two quick outs for Kelly before a Tony Wolters single and then a fly ball out.

Bottom of the second: Christian Walker strikes out, and then Nick Ahmed and Carson Kelly both ground out, and four set down in a row

Inning three: Tony Montana from Desert Bloom This is a strain that definitely smells funky, but it also has that diesel/gasoline smell, and some slight lemony notes. As the name suggests, this is a very energetic, almost frenetic, and stimulating strain, one that will get you very very stoned if you have no tolerance or smoke too much.

Top of the third: Blackmon singles to lead off again, but Trevor Story hit into a pop fly out in foul territory, David Dahl grounded out, and Nolan Arenado lined out.

Bottom of the third. My niece and her girlfriend show up with chicken nuggets and help me out by taking notes while I go outside to smoke so I don’t miss anything. Merrill Kelly struck out, Jarrod Dyson lined out, Ketel Marte singled, and David Peralta walked, but Adam Jones grounded out to end the inning.

Inning four: Orange Wreck from Desert Bloom- This Sativa dominant hybrid is very citrusy, with distinct notes of orange, and a slight background note of grapefruit and other citrus fruits. This is the one that finally hit me, and hit me hard. The name definitely fits. Wrecked me.

Top of the fourth: Merrill Kelly allowed a single to Ian desmond, but had an easy inning other than that.

Bottom of the fourth: Nick Ahmed singled, and David Peralta walked, but once again the Dbacks failed to capitalize and score any runs.

Inning five: Blueberry Muffin - Another one from Desert Bloom. This one definitely tastes like the name, it tastes like blueberries, along with subtle vanilla, almost cinnamon or nutmeg like flavors.

Top of the fifth: All three Rockies batters go down on outs, including Charlie Blackmon for once.

Bottom of the fifth: The Diamondbacks actually scored a run. Jarrod Dyson and Ketel Marte hit back to back singles, David Peralta then ground out into a force out, with Marte out at second, but Dyson scoring a run. This would be the only run of the game, and the point where we still had brief glimmer of hope of winning this game.

Inning six: Gelato from Tucson SAINTS- This is an extremely potent strain, in both smell, taste, and just how strong it is. It punches your sinuses and taste buds with fruity, sweet notes of vanilla, fruit punch, and cream.

Top of the sixth: This is where the wheels fell off, and the strain choice here was definitely a good one, because otherwise I normally would just change the channel after this one. David Dahl singled, and Nolan Arenado hit a double, scoring Dahl. Daniel Murphy then reached on catcher’s interference. Ian Desmond went down on strikes, but Ryan McMahon doubled, scoring both Arenado and Murphy. Tony Wolters grounded out, moving McMahon to third. One wild pitch later and McMahon scored, putting the Rockies up 6 to 1.

Bottom of the sixth: Christian Walker doubled, after Eduardo Escobar flew out, but Nick Ahmed and Carson Kelly both hit into line outs to Arenado at third as the gold glover made great catches, robbing back-to-back batters of an RBI double.

Inning seven: Purple Punch from Tucson SAINTS - My personal favorite. After a long day of work where your whole body aches, and you just want to relax, this is absolutely wonderful. If you’re in severe pain and/or have gastrointestinal problems this is another very helpful strain for that. Taste and smells like the best berry fruit punch, and is almost always a lovely shade of lavender, purple, and orange.

Top of the seventh: Kevin Cron and TJ McFarland replaced Merril Kelly and Christian Walker in a double switch. Charlie Blackmon is at it again, with a single. Trevor Story followed with a double, putting runners on second and third with no outs. David Dahl hit a sacrifice fly, and Charlie Blackmon scored, with a missed catch error by Carson Kelly. TJ McFarland then intentionally walked Nolan Arenado, and then unintentionally walked Daniel Murphy, loading the bases, with only one out. Ian Desmond then grounded out, and Trevor Story scored.

Bottom of the seventh: Kevin Cron struck out, Jarrod Dyson struck out, then Ketel Marte singled, and David Peralta walked, but Adam Jones flew out.

Inning eight Purple Mr. Nice guy from Desert Bloom, and the first time I’ve tried this one. This one is as the name suggests, is very purple, with lots of orange hairs. Very pleasant effects, but not much in the way of flavor, other than a sort of weird spicy bite with a lingering funky after taste. Really relaxed my muscles in my shoulders and back more than anything.

Top of the eighth: The Rockies went down in order.

Bottom of the eighth: Eduardo Escobar grounded out, Ildemaro Vargas pinch hit for TJ McFarland, but also grounded out. Nick Ahmed reached on a throwing error, but Carson Kelly grounded out.

Inning Nine: Cuvee from Tucson SAINTS. This is a pure indica strain that tastes like an herbaceous, skunky sangria, with notes of berry and wine. Cuvee is very relaxing and has heavy sedating effects. Another strain that is fantastic for sleep, chronic pain, and nausea.

Top of the ninth: Matt Andriese replaced TJ McFarland, and allowed singles to Trevor Story and Nolan Arenado, but the Rockies failed to capitalize on the baserunners.

Bottom of the ninth: Kevin Cron lined out, Jarrod Dyson popped out to short, and pinch hitter Tim Locastro struck out to end the game.

The Dimondbacks are now 2-6 against the Rockies so far this season. Zack Grienke will try to right the ship and stop the pain tomorrow. The Rockies will counter by sending Jon Gray to the mound.