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D-backs 1, Cubs 9: The Thanos Snap Game

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Still crying several hours after Endgame

Arizona Diamondbacks v Atlanta Braves Photo by Mike Zarrilli/Getty Images

Beer 1: Juicy Jack IPA by SanTan Brewing Co

As I write, 3hrs after the fact, I’m still tearing up about the ending of End Game. For fear of spoilers that’s all I’m going to say about what will likely be considered the greatest film of the year. Seriously, outside of watching this game, go watch End Game. Do it.

Ok, got that out of my system and it’s time for baseball. Godley opens up the 1st with a quick 1-2-3, easily cruising through the Cubs lineup. Still a lot of gam left, but it’s good to see some kind of improvement over his last outing.

Escobar gets on as the first base-runner of the game with a one out double. Seems like just yesterday when we were wondering if and when he’d snap out of his cold start. Now he’s crushing pitchers dreams.

Darvish walks Peralta and then plinks Jones with a fastball, which juices the bases up to Thiccness Walker. The Thiccness though can’t make it rain and Marte fails as well, leaving us seemingly missing a golden opportunity here in the 1st. 0-0 Going in to the 2nd.

Godley is missing the zone just about as bad as Darvish is and that doesn’t bode well for this game, but despite walking one he get’s through the frame with no blood. Unless he un$%&#s himself that trend likely won’t continue.

Darvish in the 2nd seems to also be either headhunting or just unable to find the zone as well. We could be building right up in to a barn burner folks. Or at the very least a bench clearer. Still, despite walking two more batters, Darvish gets through the second as well. One’s got to wonder when the lid get’s blown off this game. 0-0 going in to the 3rd.

It just takes another walk, a balk and then a double to blow that lid off in the 3rd and now we’re in a 0-2 game. Duplantier, I sense your time nearing..........

That time seems to be right about now after Bote effectively ends Godley’s night with a 3run bomb. 0-5 Cubbies. Bye Godley.

Beer 2: Southern Hemisphere IPA by Tombstone Brewing Co.

Took a long while, but the top of the 3rd is finally behind us, and though I may be overeacting I think Godley might be toast for the rest of this season. Or at least he’s getting demoted. We’ll see, and I’ll likely debate with the other editors, but It wouldn’t suprise me if Duplantier starts in Godley’s place next week.

1-2-3 Go the Dbacks in the bottom of the 3rd. Nothing else to report really, except Tombstone Brewing knows how to make killer beer. Truly godsend

Another inning of fail for our bats in the 4th. At least the beer keeps me entertained, or maybe I keep me entertained because of beer? That sound right to anyone reading this?

Rizzo gets a bloop double (that’s a thing?) to lead off the 5th and Bote makes us pay yet again turning a “maybe we can game” to “maybe we can try again tomorrow” game. Yea, Koch and Godley are kinda on the very top of my sh&* list now. 0-7 Cubs

Yet another scoreless Dbacks inning followed by barely escaping another shellacking in the top of the 6th.

Peralta at least leads off the bottom of the 6th with hope, crushing a no-doubter off the center field wall. Now at a score 1-7 we kinda sorts have hope.....kinda.....sorta.

Beer 3: Thanks for Letting Us Play Tonight Double Dry Hopped Pale Ale by Hoof Hearted Brewing

Hoof Hearted has an odd thing for vaguely 80’s looking artwork. Look it up, very funny. Their beer though is dead serious. Nectar of the gods type stuff. The kind of stuff that makes you forget stuff like another Cubbie homer. Just like the one Rizzo crushed off Koch. 1-8 Cubs

Koch coincidently will also be sharing a spot on the Tree of Woe with Godley. My fellow Brutes will have man harsh words to say about both pitchers tonight.

Benches just cleared in the 7th....I guess? Bote said hurtful words to Koch? Do we care what anyone says to Koch at this point? I know I don’t.

1-9 after more poor Koch pitching. Not hating on him still being in. I get it. Torey knows the game is toast and his best bet to win the series is riding Koch in to the ground and hoping that Weaver rights the ship tomorrow. What I, as a fan, want to see tomorrow or the next day is a move to mitigate the gurgling vortex of suck that is Godley. I want him to succeed, I really do, but 5 games in he’s a liability and he’s showing ZERO signs of improving.

Snoozefest continues in the 8th, this time with our good buddy Bradley doing his fastball thing, except this time it’s to great effect. Though in a meaningless loss I doubt even his massive ego cares.

Whelp, Caleb Joseph (the CATCHER) is pitching to close out this misserable game. That’s about the most interesting thing I witnessed tonight. His SLLLLLOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW 56mph changeup was certainly entertaining to watch. Hell, after how Koch looked Joseph’s scoreless inning looked peerless.

Nothing doing in the bottom of the 9th with the final score 1-9 and it’s game over. Jim shall be along shortly to tag on a bell or whistle or two.

My watch has ended.

Bells and whistles. by Jim

Click here for details, at Fangraphs.com
Avengers: Adam Jones, +6.3%
Thanos: Zack Godley, -30.3%

For obvious reasons, a very quiet Gameday Thread: we didn’t even hit two hundred for the night, and I think everyone more or less tuned out after the third inning. Present were: AZPerson, AzDbackfanInDc, Diamondhacks, GuruB, Jack Sommers, James Attwood, JoeCB1991, Johnneu, Makakilo, Michael McDermott, MikeDavisAZ, MrMrrbi, NikT77, Oldenschoole, asteroid, edbigghead, kilnborn, onedotfive and redsedona. Nothing got more than two recs, so we’ll move rapidly on and consider whether a move needs to be made in regard to the rotation.

Elsewhere though... Go look up the Reno Aces game. That was rather more fun. Anyway, we’ll be back tomorrow for the rubber game, with Luke Weaver starting for the D-backs.