Tweet of the Week
People in Arizona my dog Crash a big black lab pictured below is missing!!!! he is chipped has shots and everything please help me find him!!!!! pic.twitter.com/SLRcKCZ2oW— Archie Bradley (@ArchieBradley7) July 1, 2018
Crash is back home! I can’t begin to thank everyone enough for all the support and help! He is my best friends and I will forever be in debt to everyone who helped me find him. Thank you Twitter and to everyone in Arizona! Wouldn’t want to be or play anywhere else! #winforCrash pic.twitter.com/BUmDCPGu4F— Archie Bradley (@ArchieBradley7) July 1, 2018
Set a giant fire and move 10 states away. https://t.co/efvsRxD2JF— Dan Szymborski (@DSzymborski) July 3, 2018
#Unsubscribe. I’m still trying to recover from mistaking a Palo Verde beetle on the floor for a bag of beads and picking it up. And that was 17 years ago. I do not need this on my timeline.
Only if they also replace the bullpen cart. Because I totally want to see Archie riding to the mound on the back of an Irish wolfhound.
Olbermann of the Week
First, here’s a victory following last week’s column:
FistPump.gif. Of course, I don’t know why he was following such a “mediocre fan site” to begin with. Onto this week’s ill-informed opinion, although as blazing Hawt Taeks go, this one is colder than liquid nitrogen, considering it’s about the D-backs’ “new” uniforms, which were unveiled in... 2015. Has Clint W of California just noticed, or does he hold a grudge like an elephant on Prevagen? Let’s investigate. For every single day of the series against the Giants, he tagged the team with his “opinion”.
.@Dbacks these are the best uniforms you have and they are still so bad and they should feel bad— Clint of the Laughing Tree (@clintw) June 30, 2018
.@DBacks all of your uniforms make people look like they have black dandruff— Clint of the Laughing Tree (@clintw) July 1, 2018
That tagging is what made them show up for me, because during games I have a search fir “Dbacks”, for this feature. I retweeted the third “witty” comment, suggesting 2015 might want their Tweet back. He didn’t like that much. Especially when I added deadhorse.gif. #Triggered:
Um, I didn’t come onto your TL to dunk on your team’s garbage clothes, y’all came on mine. Don’t like it? There’s the door, troll.— Clint of the Laughing Tree (@clintw) July 2, 2018
Doesn’t seem Clint understands how Twitter works. He literally tagged the team in his comments. This is not recommended, if you don’t want people to notice your (dubious) opinions. But it gets better. Or, more accurately, “bitter”.
Normal *and* successful, as it clearly only took them like eight to ten years of you tweeting about their uniforms to find you!— Marginally Qualified Bisexual (@only_living_grl) July 1, 2018
Note, he didn’t tag me or the D-backs here. Clearly learning from his mistakes. No, what’s clearly a “totally normal thing that fans do” is to tweet about another team’s uniforms for, and I quote, “eight to ten years”. So it’s not even the new ones. That’s some next-level obsessive behavior, so Clint, you are the Olbermann of the Week:
The games in Diamondbacks Tweets
Diamondbacks 1, Giants 2
Pride Night at Chase. Because, as it should be, baseball is for everyone:
Thank you @dbacks for putting same-sex couples on the kiss cam. ️— Kelvin (@OnBaseUnit) June 30, 2018
Sadly, there were still reports of some thoroughly unacceptable behavior:
Look, people. Kiss who you want. Marry who you want. But know this: there are limits. :)
Diamondbacks 0, Giants 7
Miller’s fastball is flatter than Callista Flockhart tonight. Looks like Giants are taking BP.— Kevin Collins (@AllHailBrak57) July 1, 2018
I laughed, then felt bad about it. Still laughed though, because we have to get through a Shelby Miller start, by any means necessary. :) Here’s a good way:
Diamondbacks 6, Giants 9
Why is walker in the cleanup spot batting .150? Actually why is he in the lineup at all? Is your manager an idiot or do you just not have any good players to fill the spot?— Advocate for MS (@advocate4ms) July 1, 2018
Rob Manfred watching like.... pic.twitter.com/mlp1VKu1MK— Michael Rokicki (@Michael_Rokicki) July 1, 2018
Diamondbacks 3, Cardinals 6
Winner of this week’s award for “Paying somewhat attention to the Diamondbacks”. :)
At this rate we are guaranteed to see the #dbacks debut of whoever that pitcher they called up today is— Chris Lewis (@chrislewisASU) July 3, 2018
Somebody check on Jim— Kris Venezia (@KVenezia1) July 3, 2018
Diamondbacks 4, Cardinals 2
Have to admit, slightly concerned about the attempts to increase the thoroughness of the security checks at Chase tonight and the extended version of how to evactuate the ballpark they just shared over the PA system— ISH95 (@imstillhungry95) July 4, 2018
However, security still wasn’t good enough, because this guy still got in.
The jerk can breathe a sigh of relief that the one run he cheated the Dbacks out of wasn't needed.— #GoDbacks (48-39) (@KeithBalanis) July 4, 2018
The fucker still owes us tacos though.
Diamondbacks 4, Cardinals 8
I was wondering about this too. #TheMoreYouKnow
It's standard regulation for flags on uniforms (of any kind) as it's to simulate the effect of the flag being carried into battle when it would wave with the stripes trailing behind the stars.— Arizona Diamondbacks (@Dbacks) July 5, 2018
Dbacks: we have too many outfielders.— jayjar (@JimJarvis3) July 5, 2018
Dyson: hold my beer.