The three days in Vegas where I was able to delegate this task to Clefo [for which, I thank him] resembled a refreshing key lime sorbet of complete Twitter oblivion. It’s weeks like this which make me wish the season was over, purely so I could get the hell off Twitter. For when the D-backs have a bad week, this article becomes... a real chore. Let’s leave it at that, and move onward, ever onward, in search of some much-needed positivity.
Tweet of the Week
Poor Cody Decker. Our Reno Aces player (and sometime pitcher) was also in Vegas, but what happened there failed to stay there, ruthlessly exposed instead, courtesy of his wife’s social media account.
This isn’t even a joke I just want everyone to know why he won’t be on Twitter/answering calls, texts today.— Jennifer Decker (@jennifersterger) July 9, 2018
But just like last edition’s Tweet of the Week about Archie Bradley’s dog, there was a happy reunion here. Though Cody’s phone was rather more worse for wear than the canine...
.....Oh, also for helping me get my phone back after dropping it down the elevator shaft 15 stories..... pic.twitter.com/VU49LYTdQd— Cody Decker (@Decker6) July 12, 2018
@Dbacks @JakeLamb18 Heres some Fan Art I made of Jake Lamb!!!! I drew this because I truly Love the Dbacks and Jake Lamb! They complete my life!!! Dbacks help me understand the beauty Of baseball and there is not a day I go without watching their games! Much Love! ⚾️ ❤️ pic.twitter.com/dynUmlj1ai— BreeBree❤⚾ (@Valenti81468630) July 6, 2018
There. That’s the positivity I wanted! Keep it going...
Wanna know how dedicated I am to this team it’s 4:41am and I’m still watching this game because I love my @Dbacks— DbacksUK (@DBacksUK) July 12, 2018
And, note, this was the game at Coors we lost... quite badly...
But for balance, of all the many, many #HawtTaeks telling me that Shelby Miller wasn’t very good [deadhorse.png], I’ll confess this one did make me snort loudly.
Olbermann of the Week
Why be an Olbermann once, when you can copy and paste exactly the same Tweet six different times, in six different conversations!
Here, have your GIF:
The Games in Diamondbacks Tweets
Diamondbacks 3, Padres 6
I have reached a new career high in ice cream consumption. 88 games I’m way above league average. Hoping for regression to the mean in the 2nd half.— Jody Jackson (@Jody_Jackson) July 6, 2018
Ah, yes. The Big Unit in the booth was... interesting. There was a point at which I thought the broadcast would be replaced by stomping and muffled screams. As usual, Johnson’s presence radically divided viewers, as shown by the following tweets, both timed at exactly 7:45pm!
Diamondbacks 3, Padres 1
This offense is like watching a box of discarded USB cables fight a pile of laundry sometimes— Charlie G (@CLEFOAINTACRIME) July 7, 2018
So, I just realized the last time the #Padres made the playoffs, Twitter was THREE MONTHS old.— International House of Brent ☀️ (@Brent858) July 7, 2018
I’m guessing that “The Padres make the playoffs!” is quite possibly, therefore a Tweet which has never been legitimately sent...
Diamondbacks 20, Padres 5
when the san diego padres are in a hitting slump, are they the deadbeat dads???— soco (@socosoco) July 8, 2018
Diamondbacks 3, Padres 4
Diamondbacks 5, Rockies 3
What the heck, let’s have some more fan art, just because.
Diamondbacks 2, Rockies 19
At this point we should just be given tacos as compensation for this game. #Dbacks— Derek Richter (@The_D_Richter) July 12, 2018
Now pitching for the Dbacks: man in Dbacks gear found in the right field bleachers, who claims he was the star of his small-town HS baseball team that won three games in 1987. Also, he may be slightly drunk— Joshua Inman (@RoofNPanelsOpen) July 12, 2018
Diamondbacks 1, Rockies 5
He didn’t look like it, of course, but this has to be how Ray felt walking off the mound after he struck out All-Stars Blackmon, Arenado and Story in succession. pic.twitter.com/xgbSuDUytJ— FOX Sports Arizona (@FOXSPORTSAZ) July 12, 2018
And then, it went... wrong.
/begruding “Well played, 303. Well played...”