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Snake Bytes 7/12: The Routing

Miller, JDLR and The D-backs obliterated by the Rockies.

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Maybe the last time we see him.


What a terrible game we witnessed last night. Turrible, as Charles Barkley would say. The Colorado Rockies crushed Shelby Miller in the 1st inning forcing Miller to exit the game after giving up only 5 runs. The only thing good about the 1st inning was Lord Emperor Goldschmidt’s thicc HR dong.

After Miller left the game with a sore elbow and torn sun dress, JDLR was brought in to allow only 6 more runs. Jorge De La Roasted himself outta the game and next up was Yoshi Hirano whom’st then allowed just 4 more Rockies runs....According to Torey “The whole template broke down today,” Lovullo said. “Those days are going to happen.” Yeah right bro. Let’s just admit that the Miller experiment is OVER and that JDLR should be launched into the sun immediately.

In the end it turned out that Desclutcho and Avila proved to be the better pitchers of the game. The Dbacks managed to scratch another run acrossthe plate making the final score 19-2.

D-backs news

Fernando Salas was released after being DFA’d earlier to make room for Delgado. I hear he may fit in well in Cleveland’s bullpen.

Jarrod Dyson is sipping margaritas and resting, he is not expected to return to baseball activities until after the break.

Hazen says pitching is the main focus as the trade deadline looms, and this was before The Routing...

Around MLB

Dustin Pedroia acknowledged Wednesday what has become increasingly apparent for several weeks: He is unlikely to play again this season. Wikifino and Boston Fred of The Brute Squad claim that Pedroia’s career is likely over.

The un-written rules for debating balls and strikes in an interesting read provided by a local Kansas City website. If the pitch is called a ball, you might see a pitcher tap his chest. That’s an apology to the umpire: “My bad.” No chest tap and the pitcher is telling the umpire he thinks the inning should be over and isn’t apologizing for his opinion.

MLB hitters explain why they can’t just beat the shift. If you have ever pillaged with The Brute Squad I am sure you have heard Angry Dad talk about beating the shift. Belt did it nicely a couple of games ago against the Cubs. He bunted past the pitcher to 3b and no one was there.

Off Topic Snake Story

Business is writhing in a Chinese village charmed by 3 million sneks. Breeding the reptiles for food and traditional medicine changed everything for Zisiqiao, where the trade brings in US$12 million a year.