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Arizona Diamondbacks 0, Houston Astros 8

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The D-backs batters did their best Imperial Stormtrooper impression tonight

MLB: Houston Astros at Arizona Diamondbacks Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

By which I mean, they couldn’t hit anything. Gerrit Cole proved to be every bit as good as advertised, after a first inning where he was, surprisingly, out-K’d by Kris Medlen. He then took to mowing down the D-backs, at one point striking out nine Arizona batters in a ten-PA span. Chris Owings got a double to break up the no-hitter, and David Peralta drew a walk, but otherwise, there was a lot of ugly flailing. The D-backs ended up with 16 strikeouts, as Cole tossed a complete-game shutout.

On the other side, the Medlen start... went about as well as you’d expect, for someone who hadn’t pitched in the majors for two years, and with a Triple-A ERA of 6.00. He couldn’t locate his pitches and was murdered for seven runs on nine hits and four walks in just four innings. Thank heavens for T.J. McFarland, who saved the bullpen by allowing one run in 4.1 innings of efficient mop-up, on five hits, helped by a stellar grab from Jarrod Dyson at the fence to rob a home-run. Daniel Descalso got the final two outs, to preserve his perfect record, including his first K (it was of Cole, who stared at three straight pitches, but let’s gloss over that!).

Guest recapper Joey Lewis might be along in a bit. Though, frankly, I wouldn’t blame him if he bailed...