Alright, I’m going to serve up a scorching hot take here. Please take care not to burn yourself as many have been known to do on takes of equal or even lesser magnitude.
I’ll be careful, don’t worry.
Got those oven mitts and welding masks ready?
How about one oven mitt and a paper plate mask I made in Art 1 last year?
Sure, just slather some Vaseline on there and you should be fine.
Ready? Here it comes...
THE ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS ARE NOT PLAYING THEIR BEST BASEBALL OF THE SEASON AND THAT’S OKAY. POOR PLAY IS GUARANTEED OVER THE COURSE OF 162 GAMES. WHAT ISN’T OKAY IS THE CURRENT PROLONGED SLUMP THAT THE OFFENSE IS STUCK IN THAT ISN’T BEING PROPERLY ADDRESSED BY MANAGEMENT AND HOW THERE APPEARS TO BE NO END IN SIGHT.
Well, actually, I take that lattermost bit back. There does appear to be an end in sight. A very fleeting, unrepresentative end that will leave everyone momentarily satisfied before we all remember that we’re watching the 2018 Arizona Diamondbacks, but goshdarnit it will be an end. I am of course talking about the Cincinnati Reds pitching staff.
The Reds could be a decent team, they really could. Perennial All-Star (and 2017 NL MVP; #IStandWithHim) Joey Votto headlines an offense that, while not spectacular, has put up a respectable .241 team batting average (the Diamondbacks are currently hitting a red-hot .211) and .319 on-base percentage (.289 for the Snakes).
Their decidedly average offense is held back by one thing, however: an absolutely putrid pitching staff. I’m talking 4.90 ERA, 208 walks to 421 strikeouts, .268 batting average against putrid. If there ever was a golden opportunity for the D-bats to come alive, this would be it.
This naturally means that the D-backs will score 5 or 6 runs over the course of 3 games, 4 of which will come in a game 2 loss at the hands of a Scooter Gennett grand slam in the top of the 9th. Can’t wait.
Starting Pitching Match-ups
- Game 1: RHP Homer Bailey (1-6, 6.21 ERA) vs. RHP Matt Koch (2-3, 3.77 ERA)
- Game 2: RHP Luis Castillo (4-4, 5.34 ERA) vs. RHP Zack Godley (4-4, 4.53 ERA)
- Game 3: RHP Sal Romano (2-6, 5.89 ERA) vs. LHP Patrick Corbin (5-1, 2.47 ERA)
I just want a series win. That isn’t too much to ask for, is it? Is it..?
How will we do against the Reds?
This poll is closed
Swept away, again
Win just the one
Take the series
Sweep, like it’s April again