Pit Your Wits ‘18: Week 8

In the last edition, I asked you to come up with a sitcom that fit the Dbacks up to this point in the season, and the winner was...

Hogan’s Heroes

with the team all portraying the Germans.

The Dbacks’ record was 21-8 when the stadium management decision was announced. Just an observation...

Posted by TylerO on May 19, 2018 | 2:08 PM reply rec (5)

In second place...

Arli$$

Paul Goldschmidt, in an effort to break his slump, consults a sports psychologist recommended to him by Arliss. Kirby, getting wind of this, tries to hook up Goldy with a “slumpbuster” but Goldy wants nothing to do with it. In fact, he gets angry and promptly goes 5-5 with 3 home runs.

Meanwhile, Arliss is already counting the commissions from soon to be free agent AJ Pollocks impending mega contract, but goes into severe depression when AJ gets injured.

Stanley, the financial advisor, and Rita, Arliss’s assistant, concoct a scheme to fool Pollock into signing what was supposed to be Patrick Corbin’s one year extension, then changing the name. Both AJ and Corbin find out, and beat up Stanley and Kirby in view of everyone.

In the end, Goldy, AJ, and Corbin all sign deals with significant hometown discounts, the D-Backs win the World Series, and a new stadium gets built with private financing arranged by Stanley. The End.

Baseball is the greatest game ever invented. Ever. Say Amen.- Ernie Banks

Posted by MrMrrbi on May 19, 2018 | 4:01 PM reply rec (3)

And last but not least...

Curb Your Enthusiasm

starring “SonomaComa…” as Larry David andfeaturing the full lineup of Diamondback hitters

This is just the beginningPosted by Diamondhacks on May 22, 2018 | 12:06 AM reply rec (2)

And now we’ll update the standings. By just eeking his way onto the podium, Hacks takes sole possession of first place! Also, TylerO broke the tie for third! At the end of the day, though, it’s still very close at the top, and actually got closer now, with only three points between first and third

Now I might be a day late with this prompt, but we’ll go for it anyway. Last night’s big win against the A’s not withstanding, the Diamondbacks have been in a terrible, awful slump. What do they need to do to break that slump? Go!