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Pit Your Wits ‘18: Week 7

It’s time to make the chimichangas!

PGA: Wells Fargo Championship - Final Round Jim Dedmon-USA TODAY Sports

Last week’s edition came on the heels of the news that the Diamondbacks and the county had reached an agreement on the stadium situation, if by agreement, you mean the Dbacks got everything they want, and the fine taxpayers of Arizona probably got screwed. Anyway, I asked you to come up with the new defining feature of the ballpark, and first place, definitely, maybe, probably not to be included in the new stadium is!

I’m thinking a retractable playing surface.

While on defense, we keep the home run rails where they are and when we are batting, the rails come in to allow for more home runs.

Love and miss you kitties: Crewie, Fray Fray, Kissy and Coco. Love you Zeke my beast pitbull.Posted by AzDbackfanInDc on May 13, 2018 | 11:45 AM reply rec (5)

In second place, we find a suggestion that goes entirely the opposite direction...

Build the first truly tech-age ballpark

chargers in your seat, wi-fi that works everywhere, more party areas, including the first ever “birds-eye” and “snake eye” party decks. The one will be suspended from the roof over second base, the other underneath a transparent home plate. This provides not only a unique view for one part of the game, but you’ll be able to see if a pitched ball is over the plate or not.In case it’s not and is called a strike, I think there should be a trapdoor you can open to get the umpire out of there.

Posted by preston.salisbury on May 13, 2018 | 11:57 AM reply rec (4)

Speaking as someone who frequently recaps from the ball park and also is not legally blind, unlike most umpires, I am all for this. In third place!

The entire stadium will be a humidor

How exactly does one measure the humidity of a baseball?

Posted by TylerO on May 12, 2018 | 8:31 PM reply rec (3) flag

I have questions, mainly as to how and if this would actually work, but someone on the Competition Committee is probably thrilled by this idea! And now for the updated standings


Contestant Score
Contestant Score
AzRattler 19
Diamondhacks 19
Smartplays 13
TylerO 13
AzDbacksFaninDc 10
rekameohs 8
GoldyHitAnotherOne 7
haikus4hits 7
Jackwriter 6
MrMrrbi 4
preston.salisbury 4
Michael McDermott 3
SedonaRed24 3

A couple of ties up at the top, now with Hacks and Rattler tied at 19 and Smartplays and Tyler right behind with 13. DC is threatening right behind with ten points. And now let’s see if any of those ties will be broken this week!

The bumbling failures of the Dbacks this past month seem ripe for parody. Take your favorite sitcom, and cast the Diamondbacks in it. Go!