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Diamondbacks 1, Padres 4: It’s Friday

Arizona’s only hit came on a ball with a 99% catch probability, and a horrorshow ninth inning dropped the series opener for the first time.

Oh look, Hasheeshians

Record: 13-6. Pace: 111-51. Change on 2017: -1.

Time to get this party started, and what a party it has been for our Dbacks thus far! Winner of 6 straight series and looking for another. Let’s just see where that leads upon this fine day.

Beer 1: Blueberry Milkshake by OHSO

  • Love those hazy beers, and love this blueberry milkshake of a beer. Seriously, this is crushed blueberries and hops. Amazing
  • Hopped on a bit late (Bottom of the 2nd) due to getting excellent artisan pizza with my GF nearby. Luckily though this aforementioned pizza place (Craft 64) has almost every beer in the state as all 30 taps are Arizonan.
  • The 0-0 score as I log in tell me I didn’t miss much, or at the very least I only missed Koch pitching a very serviceable couple innings.
  • Avila K’s for what seems like the eleventieth time in the past week. Seriously, Mark Reynolds is begin to worry his single season strikeout record make be at stake.

Beer 2: Sink w/ California Dry-Hopped Pale Ale by King Harbor

  • Saw this beer. Saw visions of Chavez Ravine sinking into the briny blue. Saw I had to buy.
  • Can’t always have IPA’s, so sometimes you gotta cleanse the palate with hoppy pale ales instead.
  • Just like I can’t always imbibe upon hops, thus so our beloved D-backs can’t always hit off Ross. 0-0 going in to the 4th and it seems my fingers will be spared the cruel chore of typing through barn burner baseball....as will my liver.
  • Guess I jinxed it as Cordero hits a no doubt later tatter half way up the Jumbotron. 0-1 Padres
  • Really? A no-no going in to the 5th?!?!? Look, I’m usually not a condescending fan, but do we need to play down to the Padres? Yea I’m spoiled at this early juncture of the season, but after the Doyers sweep of the Padres I feel like we should do the same.
  • It’s 4/20, which I know is a faux-holiday of sorts, and one I don’t partake in (for realz). Nevertheless, the band known as Sleep chose the most obvious release date ever. Why do I say that? I say that because Sleep is one of the giants of Doom Metal, or as it’s also known as...Stoner Metal. As I listen to their new album deep in the haze of this pedestrian game, I wonder at the irony of listening to slow grinding metal as I watch what is fast becoming a quick bit of baseball.

Beer 3: Elevated IPA by La Cumbre Brewing Co.

  • Seeing as how blindingly fast this game is going this might be my last of the night. Not necessarily a bad thing really. So with that in mind i reach in to the cooler and elevate my beer experience with a can of Albuqueque’s finest: Elevated IPA.
  • 6ths inning of baseball. 6 innings of an offensive quagmire. Suddenly my choice of music seems spot on after all.
  • The torch passeth to Chafin, and thus does a mostly blemish free pitching game continue. At this time I’d like to write glowingly about Koch’s first start, but it’s overshadowed by Ross. Seriously, he can’t be touched by our batters, and though we’re missing Souza, Lamb and Avila (I’m not wrong) he truly is pitching a gem. No hitter through 6, 0-1 Padres
  • Make that through 7. Goldy breaks up the monotony but not the no-no as he gets a walk and the proceeding two batters fly out. Still a no-no........
  • 2 more chances for redemption, with 3 outs apiece between those innings. These are not the stuff of fun and engaging Beercaps.
  • Avila continues to find new and interesting ways to strike out as he swings at ball 4 in the dirt with a man on (no-no fine thanks to walk). Got written about quite a bit a couple nights ago, but Avila is just killing me right now. He’s killing this team’s offense at the very least.
  • Walker!!!!!!!!!!!!! The stalemate is broken!!!!!! Tie game!!!!.....wait...that’s a stalemate too right? 1-1 in the bottom of the 8th.

Beer 4: Orderville Hazy IPA by Modern Times

  • Boxberger up, new beer poured.....two men reach with no outs..... My timing appears to be wanting here in the top of the 9th.
  • Good feelings gone as a Friar run crosses the plate. 1-2 Padres.
  • Those feelings further vanish as Ahmed unfailing gloves fails us all.....1-3 San Diego....better make that 1-4 as RDLR fails to pick up a bunt.
  • Honestly, it just feels like nothing could have overcome San Diego’s pitching game today. Well, we weren’t gonna keep winning the first game in a season every week. Ho hum.
Bells and whistles, by Jim

Snake Stars
☆☆☆: Matt Koch: 6 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 4 SO
☆☆: Christian Walker: 1-for-1, DBL, RBI
☆: Jarrod Dyson: BB, SB

Click here for details, at Fangraphs.com
Bob Marley: Christian Walker, +33.1%
Cheech + Chong: Matt Koch, +22.3%; Ahmed, +18.2%
Reefer Madness: Brad Boxberger, -38.6%
Evil Bong (it's an actual thing): Marrero, -28.1%; Dyson, 13.6%; Descalso, 12.6%; Marte, -12.0%;

I guess this is the kind of game where “We didn’t get no hit” is the best we’re going to get out of it. Even if that solitary hit came on a ball which a half-way competent center fielder should have snared. Fortunately, #PadresGonnaPadre, and they remain the only team without a no-hitter in their history. Good tally of 843 comments, so thanks for those. Except for the one I had to hide... [Glares at person responsible]

Present were: AZDovs11, AzRattler, BenSharp, CumulusChoir, DORRITO, DeadManG, DesertWeagle, Diamondbacker, Diamondhacks, Fangdango, GuruB, Husk, JTyson, Jackwriter, Jim McLennan, Makakilo, Michael McDermott, MikeMono, MrMrrbi, Nate Rowan, PaulGoldsmith, SereneEclipse, SongBird, SonomaComa1999, Wesley Baier, Will Slaven, aldma, asteroid, coldblueAZ, dbrowell, edbigghead, hobgobnob, hotclaws, kilnborn, onedotfive, ponus, rustynails77, shoewizard, since_98, smartplays and suroeste. Comment of the night to suroeste for... Well, it was a whole thing, stemming from a discussion of how to pronounce “Koch.” [correct answer: “Cook”]. Here you go.

We’ll be back at it against these pesky Padres tomorrow night, with a 5:10pm start and Zack Godley on the mound for us. Oh, well: #AtLeastTheDodgersLostToo. [Ok, are losing by three as we go into the ninth. I’ll take the risk...]