Pit Your Wits ‘17: Week 21

Last week, I asked you to rewrite the rules of baseball. You all responded, and handed out a ton of rec’s. Taking first place is...

Idea for shortening games

17.0.0—The length of a game shall be nine innings

17.1.0—If the score is tied at the end of nine innings, two extra innings shall be added to the game

17.1.1—These innings shall be played to completion, not until one team successfully takes the lead and holds it.

17.2.0—If the game remains tied at the end of eleven innings, teams shall randomly be selected from the fans remaining in attendance, who are over the age of 18.

17.2.1—In selecting fans, there is no need to select fans who are sober

17.2.2—In fact, the more inebriated the better. This is an entertainment industry, after all.

17.2.3—The players shall inhabit the first row of seating

17.2.4—The players shall be encouraged to heckle the fans for their poor performances.

17.2.5—The players shall be doubly encouraged to boo the umpires.

17.2.6—No retaliation or suspension shall be levied against a player for any heckling of umpires, provided it is within common standards of public decency at sporting events.

17.3.0—The most inebriated on either team shall be the pitcher

17.4.0—Batters shall be required to swing at every pitch

17.4.1—They are permitted to leave the batters box in order to do so

17.4.2—They are also permitted to wait until the ball stops moving and hit it in croquet fashion

17.4.3—If they miss the ball when it is lying still upon the ground, they are automatically out and are removed to a dunk tank, where the players will dunk them.

17.5.0—The game is over when:

17.5.1—One team is ahead of the other after a completed inning

17.5.2—One team has fewer than six players, with four removed to the dunk tank, per rule 17.4.3. In this event, the team with six or more players will be the winner.

"2017 is not the same season as 2016. This is a fact, and also something which is true"

--If Perd Hapley were a Diamondbacks announcer

Posted by preston.salisbury on Sep 9, 2017 | 3:08 PM reply rec (8) flag

And in second place we find Keegan!

4.00 GAME PRELIMINARIES

(4.01) Umpire Duties

Before the game begins the umpires shall

(a) Participate in a blood alcohol content chemical test

(b) Participate in a vision test to eliminate the possibility of blindness

© The home plate umpire shall remain in a fixed position with attention towards the strike zone refraining from antagonizing any player, coach, or fan

Pro Tip- "When Paul Goldschmidt drops his bat in disgust, your strike zone is garbage."

Posted by Keegan Thompson on Sep 9, 2017 | 12:45 PM reply rec (7) flag

And rounding out our impressively rec’d top tree is AzRattler’s and their continued campaign against Baxter :-)

6.01e Spectator Interference

If a mascot precedes to be over annoying or distracting fans from the game they shall-

(a) proceeded to be kicked out of the game

(b) a right to be heckled by fans as they leave the area

Posted by AzRattler on Sep 9, 2017 | 2:11 PM reply rec (5) flag

Now, last week, I also promised two bonus points to those who gave their rules in the format of the actual rule book so all three of our finishers cashed in on those! Let’s see how these standings shake out!

Well folks, with only one week left, it is looking pretty close to a runaway... Keegan has a sizable lead, but there is still time for an upset. Remember, while looking at this, AzRattler was the first half champion, so they are only participating for fun in the second half. The “true” second place are the three contestants with 10 recs.

To see who Rattler will be facing off with in our Battle Royale, we need one last prompt. The Diamondbacks are (knock on wood) probably going to be winning the first Wild Card, and more than likely clinch at Chase Field. Knowing that, how should the team celebrate? Go!