We’re excited to announce that we are moving in a new direction for the uniform tracker! You may have heard about websites recently laying off quality writing staffs in favor of video content (that, we should point out, nobody has ever said out loud they wanted.) We are going to go a step further. We are going to lock you in a sensory deprivation tank and play whale songs on a loop while randomly someone will burst in and yell “BUY PRODUCTS!” You will glean all the information about the various win/loss records of the uniform combinations of the Arizona Diamondbacks easier than “Reading the information” Here we go!
For you “Normal people who actually exist” we’ll grandfather you out slowly with “Actual charts and some analysis”
- It speaks to the sheer amount of uniform combinations that despite this being a very good Diamondbacks team, no one combination has yet to reach 10 wins. That is likely to change this month. (God, I hope so, anyway)
- For the first time, the Diamondbacks wore the Black Tops on the Road with the snake cap. It was a game against the Marlins they loss. The worse indignity, if you can imagine, was that I had to create an entirely new row on my spreadsheet. I know. It’s tough out there.
- Throwback Thursday, and the Away Teal suffered their first losses this past month. Signs of regression? Probably just random entropy in a cold an uncaring universe.... BUY PRODUCTS
- Father’s Day being against the Phillies helped the Diamondbacks get a few W’s in the Holiday uniforms category. Those soon will be done for the year once Independence Day passes. (I could point out that it’s, to be vague, interesting that a sport with unionized players doesn’t do anything for Labor Day, but I don’t want E-Mails. Don’t ever @ me. Ever.)
- The difference between the Diamondbacks and the Dodgers in the NL West are the games involving Red Top/Black Hat on the road. Choose your fashions wisely.
We’ll be back at the end of July for another update. In the meantime, something you can do to pass the time is