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Arizona Diamondbacks 1, Colorado Rockies 9: Post-camping Beercap

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The Blair Witch Project was to camping, what this game was to D-backs baseball.

MLB: Arizona Diamondbacks at Washington Nationals Patrick McDermott-USA TODAY Sports

One very fun night of camping up by Crown King, followed by the trek home and then a beercap. My cup doth overfloweth with fun.

Beer 1: Grunion Pale Ale by Ballast Point

  • After biking the 3mi to Papago through wind and dust I’ve hardly had a moment to sit down and get my computer set up when the Dbacks immediately start getting base runners. Tomas can’t seem to bring Goldy and Ahmed home, but I’ve no doubt we’ll get a few Dbacks across the plate on this day.
  • On a side note, camping with EddBiggHead is always a good time, though I was nearly banished from the campsite for bringing a Chipotle burrito up for dinner. Poor planning on my part I know.
  • Corbin is looking just about as wobbly on the mound as Anderson from the last half inning; three runners so far with one crossing the plate and still no outs.
  • 21 pitches on and another runner scores on a wild pitch.......and a home run as I’m typing that....0-4 Rocks.
  • 39 pitches (!!!!!!!!!!!!) later Corbin finally get out of the 1st after giving up 4runs. Honestly if I was a Rockies fan I’d be pissed they only rang up 4 on him. He looked that bad....
  • Well, I don’t know what I just watched but it was awesome. Iannetta softly hits a ball down the 3rd base line, which somehow stays in, which somehow leads to Drury getting in to 3rd, which almost kills the 3rd baseman as he does a back flip.
  • Blanco drives in Drury after that ludicrous play, which is a good thing, but then Corbin lays down a pathetic bunt leading to an easy force out at 3rd. Even off the mound Corbin is finding a way to piss me off.

Beer 2: Hession Session IPA by Mike Hess

  • An abysmal 1st inning for Corbin somehow leads in to a smooth 1-2-3 2nd inning. 99% sure that wont continue, but that’s probably just my lingering post-camping hangover that’s keeping my usual optimism down.
  • That’s three innings in a row where base runners are no problem for the Dbacks, but bringing them home appears to be a Herculean task. The Rocks on the other hand don’t appear to suffer from this irksome malaise. 1-5 Rocks as they send another HR out of the park. Yay.
  • This is Coors Field right? Maybe someone should tell the Dbacks. Just saying.
  • Corbin continues upon this newfound trend of fail as Blackmon legs out a triple. Ughhhh, followed by LeMahieu driving in another. Double ugghhhh. 1-7 Rockies going in to the 5th.

Beer 3: Peanut Butter Milk Stout by Belching Beaver

  • Yes, that is a real beer and yes that is a real brewery. Absolutely amazing too. Figured that with this game going so sideways that perhaps a change of styles might reverse the course of this game.....maybe.
  • Whelp, even Lord Goldy can’t save us from this. Perhaps I should have done my beercap from Crown King last night? Sigh. It’s not necessarily the game’s score that truly bothers me, but it’s just how unexciting the bar is right now on top of this game not even being remotely close.
  • Well, it took 5 innings to finally realize that Corbin has nothing and so he’s finally been pulled. I guess I see the logic in leaving him in when we still got a chance to win the series tomorrow, but come on man. He was craptastic in the 1st and continued on his merry way in every inning after except for one. Whatever. More beer.
  • Chafin now in and I’ve just noticed that he’s sporting quite the porn star mustache. Facial hair is becoming quite the thing with this year’s Dbacks. Such whiskers regrettably don’t aid Chafin in getting through this inning smoothly as Corbin’s runner he left on comes in to score, which brings Corbin’s ER total up to a dismal 8 for the game. 1-8 Rocks and I increasingly care less and less about this game.
  • Dbacks keep not caring as well. Keep failing and I increasingly find myself wanting to watch the Golden State game even though it’s painfully obvious they’re on cruise control until the NBA Finals.

Beer 4: Breaking Bud IPA by Knee Deep

  • Nothing on tap could help me forget this game or bring a smile back to my face, but this IPA (in a bottle) is truly godsend. This is truly the IPA that all others should be measured off of. The Alpha and Omega of hoppy goodness. The Ayatollah of Hoppy Aroma. This beer gives me hope when all else is lost.
  • As I look longingly at my glass of amber goodness the Dbacks give up another run bringing their laughable total up to 9. In other news the Giants have given up double digit runs tonight. It’s a silver lining of sorts....
  • Yea, I’m pretty much throwing in the towel here. Terrible game leads to uninspiring article. Sorry to everyone reading this. :(

Bells and whistles, by Jim

I must confess, we were on the way to dinner, listening to the game in the car, when a wild-pitch was followed by a Special K home-run. 4-0 with one out in the first. We turned it off, and paid little attention thereafter. On the plus side, we did clear the DVR of Judge Judy episodes. Damn, why is that woman not Empress For Life? Anyway, this game dribbled on to its ultimate conclusion, and it’s not just Turambar. The GDT managed a grand tally of five comments in the 43 minutes preceding the quick recap.

Click here for details, at Fangraphs.com
Syriana: Paul Goldschmidt, +10.3%
Batman & Robin: Patrick Corbin, -30.3%
Return of the Killer Tomatoes! Pollock, -11.7%; Lamb, -10.7%

Frankly surprised we got to 500 comments in this one. Present were AzDbackfanInDc, Cumulus Choir, Diamondhacks, FormerlyChelsea75, GuruB, Hazzard21, I suppose I'm a Pessimist, Jackwriter, Jim McLennan, JoeCB1991, JoeyLewis, Keegan Thompson, Makakilo, Michael McDermott, MrMrrbi, SongBird, aldma, blue_bulldog, cheese1213, hotclaws, onedotfive, shoewizard, since_98 and smartplays. Comment of the thread to Diamondhacks, for his reply to hotclaws’ critical comparison of Yasmany Tomas and Justin Upton:

We will hope for better tomorrow, on the largely sensible grounds that it probably can’t go much worse. Taijuan Walker starts for the D-backs, with a first pitch scheduled for 12:10pm, Arizona time.