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Pit Your Wits ‘17: Week 6

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Bah Humbug

MLB: Pittsburgh Pirates at Arizona Diamondbacks Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Just got done reading the recap of Friday nights game, and I’m all pissed off at the Pirates, so forgive me if this isn’t the usual jolly standard you’ve come to expect from this series...

Anyway, last week I asked you, since winning hasn’t seemed to increase attendance, come up with some other ideas. And, boy, did you come up with some. In total, we have seven people on the podium, with five of them tied for third. There was a clear first and second place, however, so we start there. Congrats to onedotfive!

simple... put this sign outside the ballpark

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_p63-dqxozAE/Se1PScvdZoI/AAAAAAAAAII/R6GAMXGIG6Q/s1600/Free-Beer.jpg

Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

Posted by onedotfive on Apr 29, 2017 | 2:19 PM reply rec (5) flag

In second place, Oldenschoole!

Since the precipitous drop in attendance occurs in games against the Padres

the solution is simple, remove the Padres from the Big Leagues and replace them with a Big League franchise.

Disclaimer: my views are my own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the membership or management of the Snakepit nor that of Vox Media.

Chairman of the Goose Gossage for MLB Commissioner national committee.

Posted by Oldenschoole on May 1, 2017 | 1:50 PM reply rec (4)

And in third place... AJV19, AzRattler, Diamondhacks, MrMrrbi, preston.salisbury!

Win for more than a month.

UBICARITASETAMORDEUSIBIEST

Posted by AJV19 on Apr 29, 2017 | 3:04 PM reply rec (3) flag

Bring back the Purple

for good

Posted by AzRattler on Apr 29, 2017 | 2:23 PM reply rec (3) flag

Start counting the dogs

This is just the beginning

Posted by Diamondhacks on Apr 29, 2017 | 2:41 PM reply rec (3) flag

If attendance doesn't improve,

The D-Backs will be forced to post a screen shot of Ken Kendrick on your TV or mobile device in lieu of the game.The higher the attendance, the shorter the duration.

Man, I’d be racing for the old ball yard.

Baseball is the greatest game ever invented. Ever. Say Amen.

- Ernie Banks

Posted by MrMrrbi on Apr 29, 2017 | 7:01 PM reply rec (3) flag

Stop talking about how obsolete and unfit the ballpark is

Seriously, how can they run it down publicly and then expect people to come? Do the A’s run down their stadium this much? And Chase has never had sewage back up into the clubhouse.

"2017 is not the same season as 2016. This is a fact, and also something which is true"

--If Perd Hapley were a Diamondbacks announcer

Posted by preston.salisbury on Apr 29, 2017 | 3:14 PM reply rec (3) flag

Okay think that’s everyone! LOL Now to update the standings

DbacKid-20
Diamondhacks-16
preston.salisbury-16
AzRattler-13
AJV19-12
AzDbacksfanInDC-10
MrMrrbi-9
Oldenschoole-8
ryeandi-8
onedotfive-5
Rockkstarr12-4

Okay I think that’s right... Winners feel free to double check your scores based off last week’s standings (here) to make sure I did everyone’s correctly. Now for the new prompt!

Choose you preferred medieval torture method to inflict vigilante justice on the Pirates pitching staff for routinely targeting opposing players heads. Bonus, add another comment choosing another method to use on the Pirates fans who will come out of the woodwork on this post to defend their head hunting ways. Go!

Okay I probably shouldn’t do that one. Something about posting threats of violence online or something. I’ll go a slightly less antagonistic route. See that picture at the top of the page? My gut tells me there are a lot of good captions in there, given the events of the past four years involving the Pirates. Go!