Pit Your Wits ‘17: Week 5

Last week, I forgot to include one winning entry on the podium, being preston.salisbury’s 7 rec, third place entry. When that is included in its rightful spot, it puts him in sixth place with seven points. I hope you can forgive me this error. I shall go take WFP (writer’s fielding practice) for six hours to atone for it.

Moving on, last week you were tasked with a new give away for the Dbacks. Your favorite answer comes AJV19!

A bobblehead

to celebrate a young Diamondbacks star featuring the animal that shares his last name. That’s right it’s Jay Clam! And did you know that the bobblehead clam feels just like a real clam shell!

UBICARITASETAMORDEUSIBIEST

Posted by AJV19 on Apr 23, 2017 | 12:15 AM reply unrec (9)

In second place, we find a suggestion I think everyone can get behind. Cold Hard Cash!

Yasmany Tomas's salary

minus what he earns at a rate of $8 Million per WAR. Split it among the first 30,000. Going off of his 2015 numbers, that’s $5.5 million minus negative $10,400,000, and works out to a nice $530 apiece for the first 30,000 fans through the gate. Last season he played better, so it’s only $356.66 per person. If he keeps up what he’s done so far this year, the first 30,000 might wind up having to pay to attend the game!

I’d suggest doing this with Zack Greinke too, but the amount might get so high it would cause KK to go bankrupt. Hey, wait a minute…

"2017 is not the same season as 2016. This is a fact, and also something which is true"

--If Perd Hapley were a Diamondbacks announcer

Posted by preston.salisbury on Apr 23, 2017 | 6:42 AM reply unrec (6)

And rounding out the podium, we find Rockkstarr!

How about select MLB Voodoo dolls?

Go all Pedro Cerrano when certain MLB players hit homers or grand slams off our pitchers, or those certain opposing players make a spectacular play against us. Case in point: Ryan Braun always hitting homers off our pitchers. I know I’d give anything to poke Braun in the ass with a tack LOL!

"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back." --Maya Angelou

Posted by Rockkstarr12 on Apr 23, 2017 | 5:56 PM reply rec (4) flag

And now for the (accurate) updated standings!

For this week’s prompt, a bit of a thinker. Everyone always says that if the Diamondbacks want higher attendance, they need to win. Well, they tried that, and it didn’t work. In fact, they blew the lowest attendance record out of the water this week. So, what should they do now? Go!