Arizona Diamondbacks 1, Colorado Rockies 3: Live Beercap Time!

Record: 15-10. Pace: 97-65. Change on 2016: +3

Well, first time I’ve done this at an actual game. Let’s see how it goes.

(pregame) Beer 1: Snowflake IPA by Santa Fe Brewing along with others....

• Gotta build a base, or so they say. Chilling at Angels Trumpet as we prep for tonight’s fun.
• Also, since good beers are tough to find at the game might as well get my fancy drink on before.

Beer 2: St Archer IPA Viper: Drink 5: Tequila rocks

• Made it into the game and Ray gives up an early run. This, coupled with the Draft Room being bought out for a private event, has put a damper on my day.
• The Viper, typing below, will be joining me on this jolly quest it inhebriarion. huzzah!!!
• Tomas can’t quite make it rain, but there are many beers and many innings left. Praise be to the Dbacks...
• 0-1 after the first.
• Well since I use baseball as an excuse to get smashed and my wife isn’t here, Turambar is gonna have to carry my tiny ass out of this game.Its always good o have giant friends. Lord emperor of baseball Goldy is up........... it seems Goldy and Freeland are trying to recreate the battle of the bastards from Game of Thrones. Finally the lord emperor is walked.
• Tequila is amazing. Let;s get bombed.
• Tomas is so pathetic right now he reminds me of Theon Greyjoy trying to get with his sister in season 3 of Game of Thrones. I am gonna call him up and let him know his name is now Theon.
• Ray ends the inning like the Lannisters ended the siege of Blackwater Bay with wild fire. Quickly. (Side note what a cheap way to end that season. I mean wtf they spend 3 episodes talking about how “terrible” sieges are. People eating each other, starving, death and what do we get? A quick cheap ending with “wildfire.” So no one in all of King’s Landing knew about all that wild fire? Stannis didn’t have a spy in King’s Landing that could have sent him a raven that said, “Don’t do the water thing, you’re gonna get rekt” cheap ending.)
• Still 0-1 after two with the Rockies holding court. no witty remarks yet, just happy I can write this article from my phone without too many problems.
• Story crushing this story like that bomb to dead center. 0-2 Rocks, after that no doubter latter tatter.

Beer 3: Budweiser....yea Drink 10: MORE TEQUILA

• Goldy giveth to his true followers. More RBIs for the RBI god!!! 1-2 Rocks
• Well I have decided to lay compliance upon my liver the way we laid compliance at ISTAVAAN 5. Ray is reminding me of Ash Ketchum right now and used his superior pokeball throwing arm to turn Garneau into a whining sniveling pikachu. I CHOOSE YOU RAY. But seriously if I was a pokemaster my main Pokemon would be Goldy. He is the Mew of baseball. Inning over. -Side note Goldy should change his walk up song to the theme from Pokemon. Think of it now, his amazing god like body walking to the plate, lights shining, thousands of fans screaming his name and all of the sudden “Dun dun dun doosh I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS, TO CATCH THEM IS MY TEST TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE POKEMON!”
• Despite the lack of decent ABs The Viper’s writing skills give me hope in this otherwise grey land known as baseball. Still 1-2 going in to the 5th.
• D-backs back up. I am walking down to the dugout, throwing a dip in and informing Hazen that I am executing order 66 on the Rockies. Goldy (may his name be praised) is up......... I will set the scene, Freeland is a surrendering Nazi, Goldy a half drunk American doughboy. Lets just say his orders from higher was take no prisoners. Tomas up now. Maybe he can make up for the last time and not be the Jar Jar Binks of this team. Nope he hit it right to second base. Thanks for nothing Jar Jar
• Yes, still 1-2 Rocks. Still we sip our drinks. Still we endure the injustice of being behind in this game.

Beer 4: Kiltlifter by Four Peaks Drink 40000: Vodka rocks

• We made a pilgrimage up to Fridays Front Row. Our reward? Ray gives up a run making it 1-3, hope fades but beer endures....
• Another run. I feel like one of the Y-wing pilots in A New Hope...... we cant get ahead (stay on target). I step out front to have a smoke. I look up at the moon. the street light above me flickers, like my heart, when will we win I ask myself, staring up at the moon? Is this Randy Johnson I hear so much about up there? Sitting on a throne of Golden Baseballs? Does he look down in shame at us? Gonzo hitting the winning hit in 02 flashes through my mind. Like a broken man I return to the front row bar. Turambar is there. The whiskey and Kiltlifter is flowing like Bud light and Vodka. Like the proper Irish bastards we both in sync say “lets get bombed.”
• No hope now, only beer. The Viper has crushed my soul and liver. Yet, I endure.

Bells and whistles, by Jim

The above feels like the diary of a lost expedition, found years later in a pile of bleached bones and pith helmets. For some reason, I can’t see the picture Turambar uploaded to accompany the game: I hope it’s SnakePit friendly. :) And for what it’s worth, the end of the game petered out lamely. I didn’t even get the “Jake Lamb at the plate, representing the tying run” moment that I wanted. #ThanksDescalso. But it was a pretty feeble performance by the Diamondbacks this evening, not even managing an extra-base hit, for the first time at Chase since August 27 last season. Ray pitched reasonably well enough, and good to see the B-bullpen keep the game close.

Thanks to those who, inexplicably, chose to forgo day two of the NFL draft and the resulting collapse of Western civilization for the GDT [Look, I just skimmed the thing, it was something like that]. AZSunDevilP, AzDbackfanInDc, AzRattler, BIGredmc, BenSharp, BigSmarty, Diamondhacks, GuruB, I suppose I'm a Pessimist, Imstillhungry95, Jackwriter, Jim McLennan, JoeCB1991, Keegan Thompson, Makakilo, MrMrrbi, Oldenschoole, Rockkstarr12, SongBird, Sprankton, Xerostomia, aldma, asteroid, azshadowwalker, coldblueAZ, hotclaws, megnetic, onedotfive, pcmonk, since_98, smartplays and soco. There were more rec’d ones, but comment of the night to hotclaws:

You want context, you’ll have to find it yourself. We’ll be hoping for better results from tomorrow’s game, which sees Zack Greinke start for the D-backs. 5:10 pm first pitch for that.