FanPost

Fanpost Friday: I can forgive, but I may never forget

Bob DeChiara-USA TODAY Sports




I originally was not going to do a Fanpost because I assume you all get tired of hearing my opinion as it is. However, since Fanposts were essentially how I got my start here at the Pit, and because I cannot bear awkward silence when someone asks a question you get to disagree with me this morning.

We were actually discussing this at the bar during last night's 8th inning onslaught. I grew up and fell in love with baseball in the heart of the Steroid Era. It was all I essentially knew the sport to be at the age of innocence. Mark McGwire was my guy. Sammy Sosa was my younger brother's favorite player at the time. Our parents somewhat fabricated this interest and rivalry among the two of us during the pursuit of Roger Maris' single season home run record. We were ages 6 and 5 at the time mind you. Those two going at it was baseball as prime time television every night for us. Well, before WCW and WWF in the Attitude Era came on that is. "McGwire hit 2 tonight. He is going to beat Sammy Sosa." Sammy Sosa wacks 2 more that night to match him step for step. It forged a sibling rivalry between us. I actually do not remember much of the Diamondbacks' first season because of this race, and not because of my age at the time.

Imagine the absolute devastation I felt as a young fan when I was told, "Your favorite player was a cheater." It was basically soul crushing to me. I looked at my Mark McGwire youth bat in disgust. In the years that would follow, it seemed like every month the question was who would get caught next. Nobody was admitting to it at that time. They hardly come clean now with their blanket apologies, "I would never intentionally do anything to hurt my fans." Around that time frame, my understanding of the sport of baseball grew as did my pure hatred towards those who had cheated. Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling were in their Diamondbacks uniforms, clear from any doubt, obliterating these other worldly hitters en route to a World Championship. The later still remains outspoken as to what he was able to accomplish as a clean pitcher during that time. The rumors were swirling around Roger Clemens as he and Randy Johnson climbed further up the All Time Strikeout list. The sport then became rooting against those who had broken my trust. I wanted to see them fail miserably.

The most recent experience of this anger I had felt towards this issue was in 2011, when Ryan Braun cheated the Diamondbacks out of a deep postseason run. He was caught and lied to the baseball community's face. He questioned a man's integrity and cost him his job. In Arizona, we hardly got a glimpse of what it would have been like to have Justin Upton and Paul Goldschmidt terrorizing opposing pitchers as clean hitters side by side. I hated Ryan Braun. I would not bat an eye if I saw him on the street. I am sure you are not keeping track of my age, so let me remind you I am only 19 at this time.

Enter Alex Rodriguez in his 2015 season after vehemently denying allegations for years. He is given one last shot at the sport of baseball by new commissioner Rob Manfred. The Yankees basically want nothing to do with him, but they are handcuffed by his behemoth of a contract. Here again I find myself paralyzed in interest watching this man's season of redemption. The consensus #1 prospect who had fallen so far from grace with his actions. Perhaps had the potential to be the best offensive player the game had ever seen without the assistance of performance enhancing drugs. Without knowing the man personally, and clueless as to what he is thinking at the time, the young psychology major in me can see the pain and hurt in his eyes during that storybook 2015 season. I remember watching him cry at Fenway after hitting his 660th career home run to tie Willie Mays. It was at this point, at age 23, that I forgave all of them. I did not forget what they did to me or the sport of baseball. I probably never will, but I forgave them because as I forge further into life making more mistakes that I regret it was in that moment I saw a glimpse of myself in Alex Rodriguez. I saw the mixture of pain and happiness in his eyes. Pain from the regret of tainting what could have been. Happiness for the journey he had just experienced. I cried with him. What if I had treated this person in my life differently? What if I had pursued my dreams and not given up so easily?

I sit here in this chair at age 25 writing an opinion that a good majority of you are more than welcome to disagree with. I am not asking for baseball to forget the Steroid Era, but perhaps there will come a time where we need to forgive and move on because hatred is too heavy a burden to bear. Whether we like it or not, it will forever be a part of the timeline in our game that we hold so dearly. Is it fair that my father will not ever get to see his favorite player from his childhood, Pete Rose, make it into the Hall of Fame? My point is that we all make mistakes. We are going to continue to make mistakes because none of us are perfect and we never will be.

Performance enhancing drugs in baseball will probably never be stopped. At least not in my lifetime. Drug manufactures are becoming more clever. They are constantly educated on what drugs will result in a positive test and adjust their chemicals as a result. It is a never ending game of cat and mouse. With that being said, I am not sure what much can be done to change the current drug policy. There are too many roadblocks from the owners and Player's Association alike. Owners are willing to turn a blind eye to the issue because more often than not it is typically a star player or significant role player that is caught cheating. I would argue that a season long ban for a first time offender is appropriate, but I do not think we will ever see it. The players appear to be doing a better job of policing themselves in the clubhouse. In the Steroid Era, I am certain that the conversation was, "Come on. Everyone is doing it. Do you want to sit on the bench or continue to be the best?" It is a stark contrast from the comments we hear from one of the game's star players, Anthony Rizzo, after Starling Marte was caught earlier this week.

Regarding star players from years past, I will always hold it in the back of my head that they were not able to accomplish what they did with a clean sheet. However, I do not need to hold on to that anger. They were still phenomenal baseball players that made terrible mistakes. Would we have a different attitude towards this issue if they would just come out clean and candid about their mistakes instead of blatantly lying to our faces? I am sure that you can discern from my message that they do deserve to be included as part of baseball history. Filed right in one of the darkest segments ever.

Just because I can forgive the mistakes that have been made it does not change the fact that I will choose a clean Paul Goldschmidt over a dirty Ryan Braun any day of the week and twice on Sunday.