Pit Your Wits '16: Week 20

MrMrrbi came in first place with this gem:

Facility for sale
This is a special one-time offer for the right buyer. Own a 50,000 capacity stadium that can host baseball, concerts, football, fireworks shows, mud bogs, tent cities, and many other uses.

The sellers do not care who buys it, or even what becomes of it. Hell, you can ship it to West Virginia for all they care.

Price: negotiable
Terms: All major credit cards accepted
Closing: ASAP

Inquire with: Honest Carl
Attorneys at Law, Real Estate. Auctions, Live Bait

Baseball is the greatest game ever invented. Ever. Say Amen.
- Ernie Banks

Posted by MrMrrbi on Sep 12, 2016 | 7:28 PM reply rec (5)

In a close second, we find preston.salisbury!

Multi-use facility for sale -- Downtown
Looking for warehouse space, a shopping mall, or a place to watch the big game on a big screen with 50,000 of your closest friends? This building (which, architecturally speaking, can serve as an airplane hangar, warehouse, shopping mall, white elephant, D-level college bowl game site, or host a reasonable facsimile of a Major League Baseball team) is a bargain! The best part of it is that you will never have to worry about actually hosting a big game; watch it on the big screen from the comfort of your seat. Care for a dip? Comes complete with pool and hot tub? Like dead grass? Guess what! This building is full of it, and you can always kill more by hosting a concert or monster truck rally.

Although the building itself is state-of-the-art and full of the latest conveniences, we are looking to sell quickly, so make an offer today! Seriously. Belly button lint might be enough as long as you take the troublesome and disappointing main tenant with you!

Shall we start a Go Fund Me to buy the Diamondbacks?

Posted by preston.salisbury on Sep 12, 2016 | 6:55 AM reply rec (4) flag

And rounding out our esteemed podium, we have AzRattler, who continues their vendetta against our team's mascot!

Chase Field for Sale!
We will even hire Pest Services to remove any unwarranted Bobcats from the premise for your satisfaction!

Posted by AzRattler on Sep 12, 2016 | 2:45 PM reply rec (2) flag

And now for our updated standings!