Diamondbacks 3, Giants 11: Beercap: The Final One....

Record: 58-83. Pace: 67-95. Change on 2015: -10.

Beer 1:  Chronic Ale (Turambar & Ed)

• Well here we are.  Hurrah.  At least the beer will comfort us, along with the giant novelty pizza Ed bought.
• Bradley with a solid, no blood, 1st.  We're both skeptical if that theme will endure, but we shall see.
• "Oh look .289, which is 80pts higher then Ahmed hit, ever!!!!" Shouted Ed, referencing Owings batting prowess.  1-2-3 Go the Dbacks and our drinkings will soon hit a new level.  0-0 after the 1st.

Beer 2:  OHSO Hoppy (Ed) ...same for Turambar

• "Bradley aged 15yrs when that ball hit his face."  As we debate why Bradley looks so old.
• We must have hurt Bradley's feelings as Panic hits a double to bring in the mildly homeless looking Pence, or a cheaper Mugatu.  0-1 Gigantes
• Bradley does us the kindness of not allowing any further runs, which thus allows Ed a much deserved smoke break.
• "Tomas drives the moving van to 1st base."  An apt comment on Tomas's running skills, and the only entertaining moment of the bottom of the 2nd.
  
• In other Tomas news his glove comes into embarrassing focus with yet another Panic hit coming his way and Tomas then misplays said hit off the wall for an unsurprising error.  0-2 Giants.
• Crawford then adds on to this inning of failure with a double to bring things to 0-3.  Nice.  More beer please......
• Well, now we're at the 8th hit of the game off Bradley and any hope seems to have faded for him to take control here.  That 8th hit given up to Cueto......let that sink in.  0-4 Giants A wild pitch makes me have to amend that score.....0-5 Giants going in to the bottom of the 3rd.
  

Beer 3:  Blazing World by Modern Times (Ed & Turambar)

• An appropriate beer for us to consume.  So "dank" in nature that it leaves you with some slim hope that it may get you high and thus help one forget such a game and such a season.
  
• O'Brien!  There is a vague amount of hope!  Very vague, but there, as he crushes a solo shot to Left Field.  1-5 Gigantes.
• Hope though it limited to O'Brien and O'Brien alone as no one else seems to want to win.  Still 1-5 going in to the 4th.
• just handed Turambar my baby. so many feels. so much content.
  
• the giants have 11 hits. our pitching is awesome. our pitching coach is god.
  
• the baby is crying. Turambar has zero infant skills.
  
• Anton Segura helping turn the most excellent double play.  Luxurious.  Resplendent.  Truly.
• "Oh oh oh O'Brien.  O'Brien Auto Parts."  Our conversations have devolved in to meaningless jingles.  Truly this is a season of horrors.

Beer 4:  speaking of horrors, enter Michelob Ultra

• So.  It's come to this....At least our abs will be totally shredded by end of game....according to the commercials.
  
• Capt. Homeless (Pence) ruins our already bad viewing day with a solo shot.  Good thing Butcher is keeping our pitching staff on task this year.....oh..wait..  1-6 Giants
• Another hit.  Another run.  Another beer.....1-7 Giants
• Ed here. Gawd dammit! This season we were supposed to be a colossus. And yet we fail. Someone check the stats on that.
  
• Thankfully we're well stocked on beer.  About the only thing keeping us away from ritual suicide at this point as ........wait....we scored a run!  Praise be!  2-7 Giants going in to the 8th.
• Bad feelings resume in the 8th as Bracho .....fails at life 2-8 Giants
  
• Whats everyone's .war?
  
• Should I just read fansided and bleacher reports or should I watch a game? Why hasn't Uptopn won a WS or even been mentioned for the HOF?
  
• Who's coming to Brute Squad Fest, SPF on the 30th? you? you are? We have many heckling targets. WE WILL STAY ON TARGET.
  

Double return and Turambar is floating, the trees are calling him near. you've got to find out why....

• Look bros. We will see you soon. VERY SOON. WE LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR CONTENT IRL.
  
• BELLS AND WHISTLES AND LUXURY AND EXQUISITE AND TRUMP BY JIM.
  
• SEE YOU STAT GUYS SOOOOOOOON.

Mournful bells and sad whistles, like a ghost train in the distance, by Jim

The game was on in the background, as we had dinner with Mrs. SnakePit's visiting cousin and his wife. So that was a pleasing distraction from the awfulness which was the game. It didn't help my DVR inexplicably decided to go into record mode, so I turned the game on to see 45 minutes of pre-game show. "My mistake, must have been a 6:10pm start," thought I as Todd Walsh moved his lips. It was only when I went to the Gameday Thread and discovered 100+ comments that I figured out what had happened. Hit the "Live" button on the remote... And it's suddenly 5-0 Giants. Well, let's not bother, shall we?

[Click to enlarge, at fangraphs.com]
Roast pork: Patrick Corbin, +5.4%
Avocado: Archie Bradley, -28.9%

Hey, the graph above bears a close resemblance to my level of interest in the 2016 baseball season! Thanks to those who stuck it out in the Gameday Thread, without the benefit of the roast pork which sustained me. Those people would be: AzDbackfanInDc, AzRattler, Gilbertsportsfan, GuruB, Jackwriter, Jim McLennan, JoeCB1991, Makakilo, MrMrrbi, Oldenschoole, asteroid, edbigghead, gamepass, ofinn28, onedotfive and tucsondbacks. Nothing got more than two recs, so we will leave the Comment of the Thread devoid of life, it rests in peace. Much like the D-backs' season.

We'll have one more shot tomorrow, with Zack Greinke on the mound, as Arizona seeks to stop this losing streak before it ties the season-high mark of six games. "We'll see", is about all the enthusiasm I've got left.