Diamondbacks 0, Reds 13

This wasn't a game at all for long. Three batters into the game, Joey Votto cranked a two-run homer off Zack Godley, and the rout was on. Cincinnati added two more before Arizona even got a chance to bat, then really opened the floodgates in the second, adding five more. That ended Godley's night after easily the worst outing of his entire major-league career. He lasted only two innings, with all nine runs allowed being earned, on nine hits. He... er, didn't walk anyone? Vicente Campos then got to make his major-league debut, and worked 5.2 credible mop-up innings, allowing three runs (two earned) on four hits and two walks with four strikeouts.

The D-backs offense, for obvious reasons, didn't seem to have their heart in it, and didn't get the first hit until Michael Bourn's one-out single in the fourth. They managed only four hits all night, none of them for extra bases, and just the one walk. Jean Segura left the game in the top of the third due to "illness." The jokes in response to that just write themselves, don't they? On the plus side, it was a remarkably low-stress game compared to last night, and it's not going to be 11:45pm before the full recap goes up. Since unlike yesterday, that won't require three rewrites and a handful of antacids.