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Diamondbacks 6, Padres 13: I wasn’t even supposed to BE HERE today!

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San Diego Padres v Arizona Diamondbacks Photo by Jennifer Stewart/Getty Images

Record: 38-49. Pace: 72-90. Change over last year: -4.

Shelby Miller. Red Hats. Chase Field. No, we’re not playing random word association, I’m listing the dark magick talismans that seem to keep the Diamondbacks from winning in 2016.

Tonight didn’t bode well with an unholy union of the three evils, the Dark Trinity of bad baseball. And lo, the beast had seven heads with nine crowns, and the Ramtrucks.com Pool ran red with blood.

This game was, well, not good. The Diamondbacks staked an early 4-0 lead through 3 innings, and seemed like they were on their way to a win. Goldschmidt & Co. started the scoring in the first, with Goldy hitting a double, then coming home off a Chris Herrmann single. Herrmman would be in the middle of the runs again in the 3rd, as he knocked a 2 out triple, then scored on a Yasmany Tomas single. Brandon Drury followed with a 2 run homer.

Unfortunately it wouldn’t be enough. Double unfortunate in that the Padres ripped Shelby Miller and the Diamondbacks a new one. Miller seemed to be doing okay through the first three innings, but things quickly fell apart in the 4th, where he gave up 5 runs on 5 hits. He survived one more inning but gave up a run then, too.

Things didn’t get any better from there, with Randall Delgado giving up 3 runs, and Josh Collmenter closing things out with another 4 runs allowed.

The Diamondbacks made a semi-valiant effort of a comeback in the 9th, with Jake Lamb, he of the D-backs desperate Final Vote push, hit a 2 run shot to bring the deficit to only 7. The rally would ultimately fall short, though, leaving us to face the grim approach of Cthulhu.

Do you really want all the gory details? I assume if you’re reading you didn’t watch the game, and be glad you didn’t. And if you did watch the game, just skip to the comment so we can all commiserate together.