Series Preview: Arizona Diamondbacks vs. San Francisco Giants

The only mystery that remains for us as fans is HOW they're going to screw up... tonight will it be the bullpen, or maybe the starters, perhaps we'll be handcuffed at the plate by a guy with a lifetime best fastball of 86 mph, perhaps a pupu platter of TOOTBLANs and wild pitches, perhaps tonight we can balk the winning run home?

To be fair, it's not much easier to watch them do it from the comfy confines of your lovely abode, but I tend to scare the animals with my profanity laced invective.

To sum up: we suck, the Giants do not and coupled with this team's apparent inability to perform at home, doesn't give me (or us, although ymmv) a lot to look forward to with this series.  Find the bright shiny kernels of optimism at your own peril, or open up a kool-aid stand, be sure to have lemonade and fruit punch on hand :-)

THE VIEW FROM THE CROWS NEST

At some point, since we all assume that the talent is there, that pride has to kick in or we see some boiling over of the frustrations that must exist in the clubhouse over this.  While I do appreciate that the team and the players are handling their frustration and lack of success like adults, sometimes I think there is a time/place to where something is bound to give.  It may be that a water cooler(s) is being sacrificed for the greater good, a team meeting or even a Bill Murray "It Just Doesn't Matter" speech, something.

Conversely, it could be that our guys haven't mixed, or gelled, or evolved into a semi-sentient plasmodic life form.  Maybe all the naysayers are right.  Maybe Shelby Miller does really suck, peripherals be damned.  Maybe we bought high on ZG and even solid competency is simply not enough.  Perhaps it was unwise to expect Rubby, Robby and Patrick to make forward strides, maybe they're out of strides and they are what they are.  Perhaps Ender really did have that special something that made a combo of him and Peralta and Pollack something special but with the other two hurt, could Ender have carried the team?

I don't know, but it seems like while the team takes a step forward (Hello Mr. Segura, Mr Herrmann) we're leaping back. Are we panicking...? Yes, because the season realistically appears to be lost, but maybe, this team needs this hardship to grow and bond and be together next year, but... Only the Shadow knows what evil lurks in the hearts of our FO staff.

These guys care (I can see Jake Lamb being pissed at himself for his field gaffes and throwing his glove forcefully at the bench) but somehow, someway, the execution is lacking on a consistent basis; be it with focus on the mound, in the field and even at the plate and sometimes a lethal combination of all three.  The coaching staff, is either not reaching these guys or else their hands are tied to the personnel that are available to them, perhaps Hale needs to throw some bats into the shower and call them lollygaggers.

PITCHING MATCHUPS

Friday: Johnny Cueto (11-1/2.42/1.02) vs. Shelby Miller (2-7/6.87/1.77)

Yeah... this game should be fun... think I'll do yard work, in the sun, without a hat... maybe I can get some heat exhaustion or perhaps heat stroke... might be more fun.  Naturally, being a masochist, I may watch because I've been bad, very bad.

Saturday: Jeff Szamardija (8-5/3.91/1.19) vs Patrick Corbin (4-6/4.99/1.45)

I really think we have an opportunity to win this one, If Patrick can stop walking people.  If he goes all Nancy Sinatra (these boots are made for walking, y'all - Youtube is your friend). If the Giants have enough guys that put the ball in play that it may not be a pretty sight.

Sunday: Albert Suarez (3-1/3.83/1.11) vs Robbie Ray (4-7/4.69/1.54)

There are a couple of questions... how many of us know anything about Suarez? Anyone... anyone? so my guess is, this will be his ROY audition most likely :-)  Just seems to be the way that things are these days.  Perhaps we'll play better, but I have yet to see any indication why it should be so.

WAR PARTY

SF Batters: Brandon Belt - 2.0, Buster Posey - 1.8, Hunter Pence - 1.6

SF Hurlers: Madbum 3.3, Cueto 3.3, The Shark 1.0

DBacks sluggers: Jake Lamb 2.7, Paul Goldschmidt - 2.5, Jean Segura 2.1

DBacks Hurl-ers: Zach Greinke - 2.4, Ziggy 0.9

FAST FOOD PROGNOSTICATIONS

We get nothing, zilch, nein, nada, bupkis, zero... we keep saying that it can't get worse, I think this series has all the makings of the absolute nadir of the season.  Please let me be wrong....besides, we're all going to be cooking out anyways.... Pass me that potato salad there Mabel, no not that one, the one with the bacon bits in it. Thankee kindly.

ON THE PLUS SIDE

We'll always have Paris.....