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Pit Your Wits '16: Week 6

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Last week, I asked you all to put on your Sedona Red chef jackets, and come up with another hot dog for Chase Field. Let's see what you came up with!

One day, PYW will make the big time and advertise like this...
One day, PYW will make the big time and advertise like this...
Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Lots of good hot dogs were submitted, but the favorite was from Oldenschoole!

The Gerrardo Parra

Always a hot dog…

Disclaimer: my views are my own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the membership or management of the Snakepit nor that of Vox Media. 
Chairman of the Goose Gossage for MLB Commissioner national committee.

In second place, we have this heaping helping of depression!

The GM Dog

the name of this concoction stands both for the front office position and the initials of the two biggest offseason acquisitions. The bun of the hot dog alone costs $206.50 in honor of the mammoth contract paid to the first. Condiments include Home Run™ sauce, guaranteed to give you the taste of 100 losses! Comes complete with behavior altering powder which will cause you to fall over and scrape your knuckles, but leave you capable of walking (the opposing pitcher).

Much like their performance so far (DS, Greinke, Miller) there is no meat on this hot dog. In fact, it is certified vegan, and is also organic. The surcharges for these certifications bring the total to $444.44 (in honor of the downturn in Goldy’s performance), and you are required to sign a waiver if consumed in the dangerous environment of Chase Field. (Chase Field not dangerous because of structural problems, but because of the frequency of 450+ foot home runs given up to the opposing pitcher, when our pricey acquisitions aren’t too busy walking them.)

Today we are making angst muffins

And in third place, we have a tie between onedotfive, Piratedan, and Xippoo!

The Frankenweiner

A frighteningly awful hot dog stitched together from the scraps of butcher shop leftovers.
Be sure to cook it thoroughly or it will chill you to the bone.

Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

The Goldinger

a foot long hotdog, safely ensconced on a warm roll, covered with nacho cheese and jalapenos, and served on a bed of chili cheese fritos

I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused....

The Goldie Dog

You just KNOW it’s going to get better if you keep eating it. Despite how little meat, bun, or toppings, it just HAS to get better.

If it doesn’t, oh well, you can always rely on a Segura Dog.

I’m a Norwegian poodle farmer who frequently digs for buried treasure in artificial landscapes.

Welcome to piratedan7 for his first appearance on the podium!

TylerO-18

onedotfive-14

preston.salsibury-10

Oldenschoole-8

AzRattler-7

Xippoo-5

freeland1787-4

AzDbacksFanInDc-2

MrMrrbi-2

piratedan7-2

thunderpumpkin87-2

dbacksbestever-1

For this week's prompt, it's no secret that the Dbacks have been good on the road. Like, really good! It's also no secret that the Dbacks have been bad at home. Like, really terrible. Your mission is to find the solution to pick up our play at home. Go!