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Opening Day in Arizona Diamondbacks tweets

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All that feeling of excitement, anticipation and hope lasted approximately two innings. SnakeBytes to follow in a bit!

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports
I always thought this was done mechanically somehow...
Thirsty, anyone?
Best response to a ludicrous marketing campaign
The glamorous life of a high-flying sports executive:

Yes. Yes, it is.

Can we just canonize him now?

That Hello Kitty never lived up to her prospect hype...
Bathroom encounters

Open wide...

[ ... ]

Delayed due to restocking the lemon-scented napkins?

A note of caution...

And then, everything went pear-shaped...

Maybe Zack Greinke wants one?

But, it wasn't QUITE over...

Never mind. It was...