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Dbacks 2, Cardinals 8: What's Chase Field's Refund Policy?

Well, this game definitely takes the cake for one of, if not the worst, game I've ever seen in person. Can I get my money back?

Hello Darkness, my old friend...
Hello Darkness, my old friend...
Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Lets start with the positives from this game. The biggest ones, in my mind, are the food selections at Chase Field. My go to place to eat at Chase a new feature they brought in this off season. It's a grilled cheese panini stand. I got their Pit Smoked Cheese sandwhich on Opening Day. It has a couple different types of cheese and smoked beef brisket on it. Really good. Tonight, I had their bacon grilled cheese. Applewood smoked bacon on a grilled cheese... Good, but missing something. I'd still probably eat it again. All it really needed to push it over the top was...

What do you mean I actually have to write about this game? But what if I don't want to? FINE. I'll do it. Get off my back, Mom Jim...

Okay, well, Shelby Miller started for the Diamondbacks tonight. The first four innings went well, overall. Most importantly, he didn't look like a little leaguer who was trying to pitch after taking a ride on a tilt-a-whirl. He kept the Cardinals scoreless though the first four frames, and for the most part, kept them off the basepaths as well, including a three strikeout inning in the third.

And then the fifth inning happened. Are you sure we can't just turn this into a Fang Food article? No? Okay... Aledmys Diaz lead off the inning with a single. He was moved to second on a bunt by pitcher Carlos Martinez. Jeremy Hazelbaker then walked, putting runners on second and third. According to the official scorer, what happened next was Stephen Piscotti doubled to CF Chris Owings. Lemme tell you what really happened. Piscotti hit a ball which probably could have been caught by a standing Owings, or just limited to a single, no RBI. Instead, Owings slid for the ball, had it ricochet off his glove to somewhere into right field, allowing Piscotti to get to second, Hazelbaker to go to third, and Diaz to score, though a better throw to the catcher may have gotten him.

Did you get all that? Cool. Moving on with the rest of the inning, because we ain't done yet, folks. Miller gave an intentional walk to Matt Carpenter, still with one out, to load the bases. A sacrifice fly by Randal Grichuk brought home Hazelmaker, and a home run Brandon Moss brought home everyone. Miller struck out Molina to end the inning, but plenty of damage was done. 5-0 Cardinals.

That was the end of the road for Shelby. Phil Gosselin pinch hit for him in the bottom of the fifth to bring his night to a close. Dominic Leon came on in relief of him. He had a good inning, and then a not so good inning. He gave up three runs. I think a home run was involved. I don't know, I had Cold Stone. I was happy. The point is St. Louis pushed the score to 8-0 and it sucked.

Yes, it was 8-0. The offense was completely out of it today. They didn't just leave the bats at home. They burned them in the fireplace and spread their ashes to the wind. Carlos Martinez went eight innings, and the Dbacks just didn't have an answer for him. They only managed three hits and one walk, which of course was issued to Goldschmidt. Mike Matheny lifted him in the ninth in favor of Tyler Lyons. Both Jake Lamb and Yasmany Tomas hit solo home runs off of him, but they fell firmly into the too little, too late category. 8-2 is your final.

<iframe src="" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" height="450" width = "450" style="border:1px solid black;"></iframe><br /><span style="font-size:9pt;">Source: <a href="">FanGraphs</a></span>

Proof of just how out of hand this game was: Paul Goldschimdt, 0.03%

The reason it was so out of hand: Shelby Miller, -21.1%

A pretty decent turnout in the GDT for such a crappy game. Forty-two users combined for 651 comments, though 179 of those belonged to DC, who is clearly in midseason form, even though it's April :-) All present were:

Anisha0913, AzDbackfanInDc, AzRattler, Basebal144, BenSharp, Clefo, Cold Bleded, Dbackguy, Fangdango, GuruB, Husk, I suppose I'm a Pessimist, JTyson, Jackwriter, Jander1023, Jim McLennan, JoeCB1991, Majabe, MrMrrbi, MyTop5, Oldenschoole, Oscar Goldman, Ryancohn, TheGoldenSombrero, accidentallyonpurpose, aldma, asteroid, blue bulldog, catbat, cheese1213, coldblueAZ, freeland1787, frienetic, hotclaws, imstillhungry95, luckycc, makattack71, noblevillain, onedotfive, singaporedbacksfan, soco, thunderpumpkin87

I'm going to give COTN to coldblueAZ for stating a fact that cannot be stated enough, IMO.

Ahmed shining on National broadcast

"Fans live on every pitch" - Al Hrabosky

Same start time of 6:40 AZ time tomorrow. We'll be here