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Diamondbacks 7, Pirates 8: Beercap? Don't mind if I do...

If there was a game to drive you to drink early, it was this one. Patrick Corbin sucked early, the bullpen didn't help and the offense fell just frustratingly short of pulling everyone's ass out of the fire. God help us all.......

Norm Hall/Getty Images

Record: 9-9. Pace: 81-81. Change on 2015: +1.

Beer 1:  394 Pale by Alesmith
  • The perfect beer to start out a baseball game.  It's Alesmith's pale ale that they make in honor of the Padres.  Unlike the Padres though this beer is really quite good.  We're talking Goldy good here.
  • Unlike the last recap I'll last through this one.  Going to an outdoor beer fest and THEN trying to write a beercap is a really bad idea.  Never again....
  • Some hockey jerk has hijacked my TV here at Papago.  Ughhh.  He promises to change it soon, but I don't know if he means it......there could be blood tonight.
  • Well, that's no way to start a game.  Corbin serves up an easy single on his second pitch.  Still, can't deny that he's been solid these first couple weeks.  Especially when you consider the rocky starts Greinke and especially Miller have had.
  • One pop-up and a circus of a double play later and I feel righteous in the praise I heaped upon Corbin above.
  • Segura, just being Segura.  SSS I know, but I'll be damned if that addition.......then Drury hits into a double play.  Good feelings fading.  Need. More. Beer
  • Segura hits, annnnnnddddd fields as well.  One hell of a play there in the top of the 2nd, for certain saving a run.
  • Then good feelings disappear as Rodriguez CRUSHES a bomb into left-center.  0-2 Pirates.....make that 0-3 bucks as Polonco golfs one off the center field wall...such thirsties.
Beer 2:  Tree Shaker IPA by Odell Brewing
  • On that somber note, time for another beer.  A peach IPA, and I'm kinda warming up to this, and the peach flavor actually goes quite well with an IPA.  Usually citrus and peppers go better with IPA, but this works somehow.
  • Peralta goes opposite field with the HR and my good feelings have returned....could be the beer, but certainly feeling better.
  • OK.  Corbin is clearly not dialed in.  At all.  My nice words I wrote above are obviously misplaced.  Please DFA him right now!
  • Corbin is either telegraphing every pitch or Corbin's just off.  Every pitch they make contact on looks like it should get out of the park.
  • 1-5 bucks and Corbin needs to be pulled.  NOW!!!!
  • Segura's so hot right now!  (Zoolander reference)  Two on in the 3rd and hopefully we can chip away at this Silla (almost) all homerun lead the Pirates have now.
  • 2-5 bucks as Drury drives in the much hated Corbin.  Now it's all up to Lord Goldy.  First of his Name.
  • Goldy giveth and Goldy taketh awayeth.  Up to Tomas now to really make this inning a good one.....nope.  Still I'll take getting a run back so early in a game.  Just so long as Corbin shapes up.
  • A Scoreless Corbin innings....WHAT!?!?!???!!
Beer 3:  Passion Fruit Mead by Redstone Meadery
  • Time to take this beercap to Valhalla!  Shiny and chrome!  I love mead and to have it on tap is always a pleasure.  Honey wine is what you're ancestors drank thousands of years ago, so if it's good enough for them it's good enough for you.
  • Beef!!!!  3-5bucks after a rather goofy swing by Castillo.  Chipping away at that lead.....
  • Corbin is obviously trying to redeem himself as he hits a stand-up double.   4-5 bucks and the chipping continues.
  • TWO SCORELESS INNINGS FOR CORBIN?!?!??  Truly he's broken the 7th Seal!
  • In the bottom the 5th and Goldy takes to the plate again.  Will Goldy hear our prayers?  Kinda...sorta.  He walks, I guess I'll take that....
  • Jerry sitting next to me just referred to Tomas' dance in the dugout as being a "Kodiak moment ."  Not a Kodak Moment mind you.
  • Still 4-5 after the 5th, but it appears that the early innings bleeding has been stemmed.....I sure as help hope it has.
  • Three.  Three scoreless innings after he started off as bad as anyone could.  I like this game a lot more now.
Beer 4:  IPA by Stone Brewing
  • Not my favorite IPA, but certainly made by one of my favorite breweries.  Stone has grown in to one of the most power "micro breweries" in the US.  I use the quotation marks because their production has far outpaced what most micro breweries could ever dream of.
  • Corbin gets replaced after largely redeeming a pretty poor start.  He gets a pass in my book.  On that note Niese gets pulled in the 6th with two D-backs on.  Hope still springs eternal.
  • Still 4-5 as Segura can't quite keep things going.  Still feeling good.....wait.  That could be the beer again. 
  • Bracho comes in the 7th and it might just be the beer, but he appears to be not as good as settled-down-Corbin....suspicions confirmed as he allows two runs to get driven in.  4-7 bucks.
  • Of course Chip's solution is to warm up Delgado who has been terrible.  Nice
  • It's a miracle!  Delgado got out of the inning with a double play!!  Still 4-7 though...
Beer 5:  Total Domination IPA by Ninkasi Brewing
  • Seems about right considering how our beloved D-backs are being dominated....totally.  Ughhhhh
  • Now it's 4-8, and most of my care for this game has run out.  Just like my beer will run out soon...
  • The rumors of the D-backs demise appear to be greatly exaggerated.  Castillo crushes another bomb and then Peralta hits a double.  5-8 bucks in the 8th.
  • Weeks Jr.  Never thought I'd be happy to cheer for him, but I'm happy now as he get things closer with a nice single to make it 6-8
  • Segura, your glorious son of a $#&tch!  I've read your book!  7-8 D-backs as Segura toughs out an amazing infield hit. 
  • Goldy.  He who guideth us through the valley of the shadow of Dodger.  He who brings us to green pastures of wins.  Hustles out a single, which Hale confirmed a challenge.
  • Tomas tries and tries, but just comes up short.  Still, now we have a game!
  • No blood in the top of the 9th.  Time to put up or shut up...
Beer 6:  Chocolate Yeti Imperial Stout by Great Divide Brewing
  • It's a good day to die, I guess...  A fine Imperial Stout, and one that will serve me well should we find a way to tough this game out...
  • sigh......ughhhh.  Game over man.  Game over.
Bells and whistles, by Jim

[Click for details, at]
His Royal Symbolness: Patrick Corbin (bat), +13.5%
Tipper Gore: Yasmany Tomas, -22.6%
The PMRC: Bracho, -21.6%; Corbin (ball), -18.7%

Weird Fangraph: I'd have said we'd have more positive people, but the only other even +4% was Rickie Weeks Jr. at +6.7%; Castillo's eight total bases? -9.9%. Anyway... asteroid, preston.salisbury and DbacksSkins led the way tonight, ahead of Diamondhacks, Fangdango, GuruB, Hazzard21, I suppose I'm a Pessimist, IBACKTHEDBACKS, Indedave, Jim McLennan, JoeCB1991, MrMrrbi, Oldenschoole, Rockkstarr12, Sprankton, TinySarabia, Zavada's Moustache, accidentallyonpurpose, alphadrew88, blue bulldog, coldblueAZ, dbacksbestever, dbrowell, freeland1787, hotclaws, jmfugate, makattack71, noblevillain, onedotfive, overkill94DT and shoewizard.

jmfugate takes comment of the night for this