On the first day of D-backsmas, Ken Kendrick gave to me...

To tide us over the long, dark and largely baseball-free Christmas period (though Fox Sports Arizona are having a marathon on Christmas Day, but more on that tomorrow...), let’s go back the idea we did last year, and rewrite the 12 days of Christmas with a D-backs theme, appropriate to 2016. In case, for some inexplicable reason you’re not aware of this song, the lyrics end up at (more or less - there are apparently regional variations!):

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:

• Twelve Drummers Drumming
• Eleven Pipers Piping
• Ten Lords a Leaping
• Nine Ladies Dancing
• Eight Maids a Milking
• Seven Swans a Swimming
• Six Geese a Laying
• Five Gold Rings
• Four Calling Birds
• Three French Hens
• Two Turtle Doves
• and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

For reference - and to avoid particularly shameless repetition of the 2015 verses! - by the time we’d finished last year, it had become:

On the twelfth day of D-backsmas, Ken Kendrick sent to me:

• Twelve total bases....
• Eleven playoff wins...
• Tenth-inning walkoffs...
• Nine perfect innings...
• Eight maids taking selfies...
• Seventh game the clincher...
• Six years of Greinke...
• Five Goldy dingers...
• Four falling chicken tenders...
• Three free tacos...* [* terms and conditions apply]
• Two gold gloves...
• and a Corbin with a strike three!

If you have a suggestion throw it in the comments. If you like a suggestion in the comments, give it a “rec”. The comment which gets the most recs will become part of the official 2016 SnakePit version of the song, and be permanently enshrined on the tubes of the Internet. We’ll have one verse per day from now through... [pauses to check calendar] January 3. Or thereabouts. Thus, we begin with today’s verse:

And a Partridge in a Pear Tree