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The Diamondbacks should go back in time and draft Mike Trout instead of Bobby Borchering

A realistic offseason proposal as any other

Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

People say Time Travel is impossible, as we have yet to encounter any visitors from the future in our time and also science reasons. I say poppycock, we haven't even tried yet. With that in mind, I think the Diamondbacks should do the following this offseason, which is just as likely as anything else that's been thrown at the wall:

Bend the fabric of space and time and get the brain-trust at the time to draft Mike Trout with the 16th overall pick in the 2009 draft instead of Bobby Borchering.

This seems like a no-brainer, as Trout is the best position player of this generation and Borchering has yet to make it about Double-A and was eventually traded to the Astros in the deal that brought Chris Johnson briefly to Arizona.

While it wouldn't help the Diamondbacks most pressing need of starting pitching, causing chaos to our current timeline just to do a minor baseball transaction would push them straight into the NL West race in 2017, and would be a Wild Card contender at minimum, as Arizona has a stronger core around them than the Angels, who because of our tampering in God's domain have moved to Las Vegas and have been rebranded  the "YOLOs"

Mike Trout is only 25, has never finished lower than second in MVP voting during a full season, and has put up a career slash of .306/.405/.557 with an OPS+ of 170. He's accrued a bWAR of 48.5, and both the eye test and defensive metrics have him as a very good outfielder. I mean, look at this:

If he's not a player that's worth bending the fabric of space-time carelessly without thinking of the consequences, then nobody is.

Trout would also measurably improve the outfield defense, which in turn will help our existent starting pitchers. It also might give us a chance to see what Yasmany Tomas or David Peralta is worth on the open market, provided the Sea Demons that were kept at bay by the sole fact of Trout's presence in Anaheim don't grab and enslave either of them to work in the Tungsten Mines, thus negating their value.

There would be some risks. Would Trout develop in the same way in our minor league system? Are these horrific butterfly effects worth improving one baseball team over another? Do we have a moral responsibility to keep the timeline stable? While these are all valid, I think it's worth doing, and should be within the realm of possibility for Mike Hazen and company. If they don't because they want to preclude the rise of Mecha Stalin, then they are risk adverse and will never get anywhere with this team.