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10 packs of garbage baseball cards

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I bought a box of 10 random packs of baseball cards, chasing that retirement plan. Looks like I'd better keep working.

Ah, baseball cards. It might not have the connection with kids anymore, but most people born in the 80s or before probably remember ripping open the occasional pack to see if you'd get any stars or your favorite players. What you did with them after that point it likely a product of your time (stick 'em your bicycle spokes? You're a Boomer. Hoard them like they were Beanie Babies? Probably Gen X or an older Millennial).

I grabbed a randomized box at Target this week just to see what would come out of it.

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There's the haul. I wish it had been 10 different packs, but I guess idea-starved baseball bloggers can't be choosers.

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I hate sets that favor prospects because I don't follow prospects. To some people, though, this shit is like gold. If you're betting for big hits that pay off in the future, hunting for prospects and rookies is the way to go.

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I don't knot a single one of these guys, but I like the overall design. Very shiny. I'm a raccoon.

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More of the same. I like the look, but wish it was actual MLB. Oh, and why are all the logos scrubbed away, you ask? Fun fact: Topps has the exclusive license for MLB logos and teams, so all other current baseball cards from other companies have to airbrush it out and refer to the teams as Cincinnati or New York.

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Ugh, this crap. Opening Day is basically the same damn thing as Topps Baseball (the main line for Topps). Why does this product exist?

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My son thinks the Rangers Captain is a cow, in case you were wondering. Also, the rare Diamondbacks card.

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Okay, maybe Diamondbacks aren't that rare, but this was a time when Kennedy and Upton were going to be in every other pack and that's just about it.

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FANTASY SQUAD

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Carl Crawford and his surfbort

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No clue what this stuff is. Some off-brand nonsense, probably.

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I'm still confused, but it's also kind of cool? I think a cartoony take on baseball cards is neat, and that Verlander one is actually a sticker instead of a card. PUTTIN IT ON MY TRAPPER KEEPER

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More of the same, I wish the art was a little more featured, and a little less like they literally traced over the reference photos.

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Baseball 101, maybe the Diamondbacks should have seen this card before the Cardinals series.

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That is such a weird pose to pick for Bautista. Why not pick something dynamic, instead of one that looks like he's trudging home to gorge on ice cream while he cries?

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Topps Heritages schitck is that it uses an old Topps design, for the nostalgia feels. Usually only as good as the year it's mimicking.

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REX BROTHERS, WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM

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Other downside of Heritage is it's always clear that the reference photos are all from Spring Training. I get that that's the style they're aping but it's still boring.

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UGH MORE PROSPECTS

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Okay, 4 cards for Future Stars, and 2 of them are established veterans (this set came out in 2007)? FALSE ADVERTISING

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This is going to look exactly like Opening Day.

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KYLE BLANKS, DON'T GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT

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Most Topps Baseball photography is not as fun as that Starlin Castro one

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Started getting card fatigue at this point.

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Last pack! Baseball cards from about 1995 and older are fun because everything looks so ridiculous.

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THESE CARDS ARE COOL. Love the look, love the 80s uniforms, and that MVP mini card is a holographic trivia card.

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UPSIDE DOWN-JO

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My computer hates me, obviously

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There you go, that's what 10 packs of garbage baseball cards looks like. Now what the hell do I do with any of it?