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Diamondbacks 13, Phillies 3: Offense catches phire

Only won by a touchdown and field goal sheesh.

Chris Coduto/Getty Images

I'm not sure what to make of Rubby De La Rosa, to be honest. At the end of the day, lately anyway, his results seem to be good, but the process of getting there is always harrowing, like a cab driver that takes alleyways and sidewalks to get to your destination, but he ends up getting there anyway. The Phillies, the team the Diamondbacks played tonight in case you have headline blindness, seemed to hit him kinda hard. Fortuneately, Aaron Harang, the starter for the Phillies, was hit even harder.

I really buried the lede of this game, eh?

Also the Phillies were the best team in the majors post All-Star break. Keep this in mind as you read along and feel more impressed.

The Phillies scored first, because they're jerks. Carlos Ruiz hit a double in the 3rd, but it turned into three bases because David Peralta sort of committed an error. Ruiz scored on a sac-fly by Chase Utley to make it 1-0 Phillies. The Diamondbacks answered right back in the bottom of the inning thanks to a legit Jake Lamb triple followed by a Paul Goldschmidt single. That RBI put him past Matt Williams for 5th all-time for a Diamondback, which once again proves my theory: Germans love David Hasselhoff Paul Goldschmidt is good.

The scoring continued in the 4th when Yasmany Tomas hit a monster of a solo shot off of Harang to make it 2-1. That was Tomas' 7th dinger of the season thus far. However, the Phillies answered right back with Cesar Hernandez doubling home Utley to tie the game.

The Diamondbacks took a sizable lead in the 5th Goldy hit a sac-fly to score A.J. Pollock to take the lead. David Peralta doubled home Jake Lamb, but was thrown out between second and third, but the score was 4-2. Welington Castillo then hit another dinger, his 8th in the last two weeks and 15th on the year. He's pretty good. The Phillies added another off of RDLR on a Maikel Franco homer to deep center. (That guy is also someone to keep an eye on, he'll be pretty good, hell he is already.)

In the 6th, the Diamondbacks went HAM. Jamie Romak came in to pinch hit for RDLR and hit an RBI double, his first of either of the year, to make it 6-3. That did it for Harang. Adam Loewen came in for the Phillies for his first Major League appearance since 2008. He got Jake Lamb to strike out, so good for him...? He intentionally walked Goldy with a base open to load them for Peralta. Coming into that AB, the Diamondbacks were 0-after intentional walks to Goldschmidt. Peralta broke that streak with a slow tapper to third base that resulted in everyone being safe and the score being 7-3.

Justin De Fratus came in to face Castillo. Castillo hit his first career triple to clear the bases and make it 10-3. (#YearOfTheTriple) Tomas then singled home Castillo to make it 11-3. Or 3-11 if you felt like you should Come Original with, uh, score listings.

But wait, there's more! A.J. Pollock had a two-run homer off of De Fratus in the 7th to make it 13-3! Pollock finished the game a double short of a cycle.

From that point, both teams went through the motions and the final score was that.

Source: FanGraphs

Cheap Rum: Peralta (+12.2%)
The Hangover you get from it: RDLR Hitting (-3.8%)

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COTN goes to ZM, for pointing this out about the Castillo/Trumbo trade:

Put another way:

The Diamondbacks have gotten 2.5 fWAR out of Trumbo and Castillo this year. The Mariners have gotten -1.2 fWAR out of Trumbo and Castillo this year.

"The truth is we did not know what Touki's value would be if we shopped him." 
-Dave Stewart

That's pretty good, IMO.
Tomorrow the Diamondbacks will try to get their record to a certain place. Jeremy Hellickson is pitching as well, so grab your favorite classic Russian Novel and follow along.