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Diamondbacks 2, Astros 9: Beercap of Certain Doom

No good can come of a beercap on a game that could see the Dbacks at .500. Just saying......

Thomas B. Shea-USA TODAY Sports

Record: 50-52. Pace:  79-83. Change on 2014: +6.

Beer 1:  Ballpark Brown by Breckenridge Brewing Co.
  • Another first time beer, one of many during these beercaps.  Not quite your dad's brown ale, this one has a nice hop punch to it without it being quite an IPA.  Very refreshing after a 3.5mi bike ride in hell.
  • Many readers may note that I have a string of bad luck when covering games involving the fleeting hope of reaching .500.  No point in denying it, might as well embrace the bad luck.  Take it head on.
  • So it begins.  Keuchel with three quick and easy outs in a row.  Not the best way to start a game.....
  • Good Hellickson appears to have showed up today, kinda.  He gives up a run, but looks good overall, and after the 1st it's 0-1.
  • Sogginess issues in front of home plate?  Not sure if I've ever seen such a stoppage in play that didnt involve a rain storm.  Strange.
  • Hill does a thing!  Praise be to God!  Slow roller between second and third somehow gets through.  The Lord works in mysterious ways.
  • Hill once again does a thing!  Thanks mostly to Salty with an excellent hard hit single to center. 1-1
Beer 2:  Baby Daddy by Speakeasy Brewing
  • Session IPAs, as I've written before, are hit and miss.  Either the brewer get's that IPA flavor imparted or it just comes up short and tastes like a lighter pale.  This is one of the good ones.
  • After Hill gets driven home Keuchel finds himself in a bit of a jam with the bases juiced and Ender up to bat.  Keuchel is looking mortal, as I type this he's at 47 pitches in the 2nd.....good.  gooooooooood.
  • A walked in run is a good run.  2-1 and Keuchel is still in big trouble with the bases juiced....still.
  • Hill, once again, does a thing.  Clutch play at 3rd by my least favorite player, robbing the Astros of a certain two run double........and then he gets a double play.....all. by. him. self.  Truly these are mad times.  2-1 Dbacks after the 2nd.
  • Keuchel apparently just needed to pitch in the shade, compared to the two innings prior.  1.2.3 goes the Dbacks in the top of the 3rd.
  • So much for good Hellickson.  Lead off HR's hurt, but I can deal with them.  2-2 after the 3rd
Beer 3:  Wrought Iron IPA by Abita Brewing
  • Need my hop fix, and I got my fix.  Yay.  Not the best of IPA, but certainly the best on tap that's not an imperial.
  • Hellickson living dangerously now.  Bases juiced with one out and he's just not looking too good.
  • And....he walks in a run.  Hellickson is all over the place now.  It's enough to drive a man to drink....wait.  I already am.    2-3 Astros.
  • Make that 2-7 Astros.  Hellickson is donezo.  Big time donezo.  Sigh
  • Why in the name of Zeus is Hellickson still out there?  Why?  Men on 2nd and 3rd with one out in this damned inning and Hale FINALLY has seen enough.
  • See, I told you all.  This game was doomed before it began.  DOOOMMMMMMMMMED!!!!!!!
  • Collmenter gets us out of that God awful inning.....yay.  2-7 Astros.
Beer 4:  Hoptimum Imperial IPA by Sierra Nevada
  • Crap game requires an excellent beer to help redeem it, because this team sure as heck is not going to do so.  Yes this Imperial IPA is made of miracles and sunshine......or just an ungodly amount hops.
  • Goldy does not heed my prayers.  Why do you forsake me Goldy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Good to see a good inning.  Thank God.  Collmenter did a solid job, but we're still screwed.  2-7 after the 5th.
  • Despite being at 106 pitches out batters are now clueless again Keuchel.  Nice.  Very nice.
  • Yup.  Game over.  Gamer over man.  2-9 after a two run blast Correa. 
  • Mikey keeps coming over to my seat, reminding me that the Dbacks are losing.  Were it not for his kind unassuming ways I'd flying into a violent rage.  Sigh.
Beer 5:  Grunion Pale Ale by Ballast Point IPA
  • Another new beer, and this one is awesome.  Like I said, a bad game needs a good beer, and this heavily hopped pale is amazing.
  • Blah blah blah..offense.  Blah blah offense.  Blah
  • Once again, in the 8th, offense life.
  • OK..  I'm done.  This game is done.

Bells and whistles, by Jim

[Click for details, at]
Roddy Piper: Jarrod Saltalamacchia, +8.5%
Hulk Hogan: Jeremy Hellickson, -49.2%

Despite loud pre-game claims he would set a new record, AzDbackfanInDc barely cracked three figures, though that was still enough to lead a thread, where enthusiasm basically died after the grand-slam. freeland1787 and sepehr3 rounded out the top three, with others present being: BenSharp, BrokeNBattleX, DeadmanG, GuruB, Hazzard21, Jim McLennan, JoeCB1991, MrMrrbi, Nate Rowan, NumberOneIanKennedyFan31, Oldenschoole, SenSurround, Sprankton, Zavada's Moustache, circa4, gamepass, hotclaws, noblevillain, onedotfive, shoewizard, thunderpumpkin87 and xmet. Comment of the Thread to ZM for his question about today's Astros' starter:

Robbie Ray starts for the Diamondbacks tomorrow, having been turned away from a .500 record once more. Still, taking a series in Houston would certainly be a laudable achievement.