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Pit Your Wits: All Star Break

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We have reached the arbitrary "halfway" point of the MLB season. For us, this marks the resetting of the leaderboard and the crowing of the First Half Champion!

Christian Petersen/Getty Images

First, we do have the results of last weeks contest to share with you. In first place, we have, once again, onedotfive, we here suggestion to liven up the festivities!

In honor of Independence Day today, I suggest the following event:
Let us fight the injustice of intoxication without representation!

AzDbackfaninDc will be present at the All Star game. 


As each player is introduced, he will take a drink of an alcoholic beverage of his choice, two drinks for every Dbacks player in the game.
A drink for each home run hit in the derby and in the AS game itself.
A drink for every "fooood glorious fooood" commercial shown. (should this commercial not be shown, an equally annoying commercial may be substituted.)
A drink for every double play hit into.
A drink for every time the names Trout, Sherzer, Puig, and Pujols are mentioned as great players and Goldschmidt is not.
and finally, if 'faninDc is still able to sit upright and hold a glass, an enormous quantity of celebratory drinks should the NL win the game!

Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

by onedotfive on Jul 4, 2015 | 12:52 PM reply rec (10) flag actions

In second place we have a tie between catbat and hotclaws, with seven recs a piece!

The hacking skills challenge!
In which the front office of each team has a minute to hack into the systems of another team. I mean, we all know the Cardinals will probably win, but it will still be fun regardless.

by catbat on Jul 4, 2015 | 11:26 AM reply unrec (7) actions

Players are given a map of the heavens
and asked to name as many stars as they can.Bonus points if they know the Latin name.Well it is the All Star Game

Baseball fans love numbers. They love to swirl them around their mouths like Bordeaux wine. ~Pat Conroy

by hotclaws on Jul 4, 2015 | 7:01 PM reply rec (7) flag actions

And in third, getting the last points payout of the half, we find benhat!

How about an autograph signing contest?
In honor of the game being held in Cincinnati, the contest will be held just outside of the stadium. Each All Star player will compete against Pete Rose to see who can sign autographs the fastest. Points are doubled if the signer can autograph a biography full of lies, and each player in the game can be awarded extra points if he sprints to first base on a base on balls and/or dives headfirst into a base needlessly.
Points will also be given for any player who can grow the greatest bowl haircut in time for the first pitch.

The contest will then be analyzed by Tim Kurkjian, Buster Olney, and Jayson Stark, and they will select the winner. If a tiebreaker is needed, a mannequin catcher will be erected, and the contestants will try to run over the catcher with the most force. The final decision will be made by John Brenkus of ESPN Sport Science, as he will compare the square inch of contact ratio to the speed of a rhinoceros, and a final winner will be announced. The team of the winning player will then be awarded the #1 overall pick in the 2016 draft.

by benhat on Jul 5, 2015 | 11:30 AM reply rec (4) flag actions

And now for the final standings! @oracle, gif me a drumroll!

onedotfive-37

Benhat-22

preston.salisbury-20

TylerO-11

Diamondhacks-9

hotclaws-9

Azrattler-7

DbacksSkins-7

freeland1787-7

AzDbacksFanInDC-6

Jim McLennan-6

TheGoldenSombrero-6

catbat-3

ford.williams.10-3

TusconTim-3

ryeandi-2

soco-2

Diamondhacks-1

hventure-1

Rockkstarr12-1

And we have a winner! Onedotfive, with over two weeks worth of points for a lead takes the top spot for this half. She is going to face off against the winner of the second half for the title of Heavyweight Pitter of the World! Or something like that.

How is that going to work, you ask? Well, I will tell you. I am going to take onedotfive's top three vote getting entries from the first half and put them up against the top three entries of the second half winner. Then you all will vote on who had the best overall season based off those three comments. Should be fun! And if Onedotfive wins again, well I guess she just wins by default. I don't know.

Enjoy the All Star Game and its festivities, everyone. Pit Your Wits will be back next Saturday with a new prompt and a clean leaderboard!