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Dodgers 9, Diamondbacks 3: Y'all wanna talk about the draft some more?

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Or Pancakes, or rainy days, or Werner Herzog documentaries? Seriously, anything but this one-sided affair.

Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports

So the Dansby Swanson era, and with that name you'd think he was a new majority owner who liked to spend all of his time posing on a yacht on Lake Havasu rather than a Shortstop, did not start off well for the Diamondbacks. He's already a bust IMO.

Rubby De La Rosa started off against former Diamondback Mike Bolsinger. While the Diamondbacks were able to get some middle-of-the-game success against Bolsinger, Rubby was supremely not effective for a bit, which wasn't very nice of him.

The Dodgers got the scoring started in the first frame when Howie Kendrick (Who does have the supremely awesome nickname of HK47) hit an RBI single to make it 1-0. De La Rosa calmed down a smidge from there, but the 4th inning was a dark carnival of the soul, pitching wise. Alex Guererro singled home a run to make it 2-0 (he also advanced to second on an ambitious throw to the plate by Ender Inciarte.) Andre Ethier, he of the unknown alma matter, had a bloop single to score another run to make it 3-0. What broke the camel's back was Jimmy Rollins hitting a three-run blast to make it 6-0 by the time the 4th ended.

But wait, there's more! Ethier had another at bat in the 5th, and there were two runners on, so he hit a three run homer of his own, since De La Rosa was still in the game. Rubby was pinch-hit for the next inning. His final line:

The Diamondbacks were not shut out by Bolsinger, though that was somewhat in doubt for a very long time, which is somewhat depressing considering last year, also considering he's been fairly effective this year for LA. However, one day his FIP will catch up to him, like it catches up to all of us. He might be at home one day, long after his career is over, but FIP will find him, and it will not be pretty.

Anyway, the Diamondbacks got two runs in the 6th when A.J. Pollock doubled to score Nick Ahmed and Ender Inciarte. Jake Lamb got an RBI single in garbage time in the 9th with two outs to make it 9-3

Also of note during this game: Dodgers Third Baseman Justin Turner hit a foul ball pretty dang hard off of his knee and left the game and is currently day-to-day. J.C Ramirez came on in relief of De La Rosa for three innings and got nine straight outs, so good for him. Cliff Pennington was substituted for Paul Goldschmidt late in the game, which is the saddest sentence I've ever typed in the three years I have written for this website.

Source: FanGraphs

Actually tried a little: Goldschmidt (+3.5%)
A person who really likes Entourage: De La Rosa (-27.9%)

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COTN to Songbird, with some great #analysis of the Diamondbacks second round draft pick, Alex Young:

Robbie Ray vs. Carlos Frias is a thing tomorrow that you can watch. If you want. I am going to go figure out how to photoshop Dansby Swanson on a yacht in sailing regalia.