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Diamondbacks 2, Padres 7: Dustcap Beercap

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SAND STORMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Record: 35-39. Pace: 77-85. Change on 2014: +5.

dust

Beer 1:  Kirsch Gose by Victory Brewing
  • Well I mist the first two innings but a dust storm will do that to a guy on a bike.
  • I got in, very dusty, and said to myself "Gose, I will have a Gose."  Pronounced much like the figure from the Ghostbusters (The Key Master I think) Goser the Gosarian.  A Belgium fruit beer that's pretty easy drinking at 4.5%.  A good way to re-hydrate during a beer article.
  • Good things so far as Peralta and Tomas get things going with two singles and then the bases are juiced, but Owings (AGAIN!!) does nothing and Hellickson almost gets a single into center, but not quite.......still 0-2 going into the bottom of the 2nd.
  • Owings just can't lay off those sliders out of the zone.  My positive opinion of him is fading VERY quickly at this moment.  No amount of beer will change that.
  • Hellickson recovers from a "meh" 1st to cruise through the 2nd.  Good Hellickson is good.
  • Good to see monsoon season begin so early.  Wetness, like beer, is a good thing.
  • Goldy protects!  When the offense is in doubt you can depend on Goldy.
  • Peralta delivers and brings home He of the Many Home Runs on a double.  1-2 with two outs in the 3rd.
  • TOMAS!!!!  Never missed a meal in his life and apparently he's never missed a pitch either.  Ties things up with a double down the 3rd base line.  2-2

drive to work
Driving to work can be pretty rough during a dust storm......

Beer Cider Cyser 2:  Green Apple Cyser by Arizona Mean Co.

  • Brand, brand, brand new Meadery out of Chandler and this not-quite-cider-not-quite-mead is pretty dang good.  Nom nom nom is how I'd term is.  Refreshing and laden with honey and apple.  Good times.  Much like the 3rd inning.
  • DUST STORM WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WE'RE DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • I swear, these warnings are mostly just comical.  Dust storms are rarely a big deal unless you're on the 10 driving to/from Tucson.  Outside of that it's just annoying, and sometimes cool.
  • End of the 3rd and almost the end of my cyser.  Still can't believe this team isn't at .500 yet.  Seems like the DBacks should be far about that mark by now.
  • I could have sworn I saw Hellickson show bunt in the top of the 4th....with two outs.....and no one on.  That can't be the case though, because that would be madness.  Unending madness.

duff
What a lovely game!!!!!!!!

Beer 3:  IPA by Dragoon Brewing Co.
  • Yup, an IPA.  A very good IPA.  I dare say the absolute best in the state.
  • Ahmed, unlike Owings, has resurrected himself from the land of crappy-batting.  Between Owings and Hill 2nd Base is a black hole of suck.  Something has got to give there.  At some point.
  • Ahmed, despite the nice hitting, did a shit job of stealing.  1 out in the top of the 5th, for apparently no reason at all.  Thanks Ahmed
  • It's dawned on me that this ump has a VERY generous strike zone.  Goldy's K was nooootttttttt quite a K in my book, but at least he's calling those strikes both ways.
  • What the heck is it with the face painting I'm seeing.  Does it mean anything?  Anything at all?  Should I care as a loyal viewer...besides the chicks doing said painting being mildly hot?
  • Upton just ruined my night with the 2run shot.  I blame Zach the bartender who just informed me that he no longer hates Jupton, but pities him instead.  Thanks Zach.  2-4 Padres
  • 2.5% beer for $8???? No thanks.  I'll pay for something that's high ABV, but whens it's an ABV I can give liquid just by looking at it?????  Heck no.
  • Bottom of the 6th and still 2-4 Padres, and I'm in need of a good ending to this game.  Sigh.
  • The wheels are falling off for Hellickson.  Sigh.  If only Lord Goldy could pitch....  Men on the corners with no outs in the bottom of the 6th.  Ouch
  • SUICIDE SQUEEZE WORKED?!!!!?!??!!??!  Grrrrr.  I'll need more beer to endure this game.  2-5 now........
  • After a brief bathroom break it's 2-6.....we're doomed.  Sigh.
  • Make that 2-7.  This game is over.

chrome
The Dbacks lose, they win, they lose again!!!!!!!!!!

Beer 4:  Mach 10 Imperial IPA by Bear Republic Brewing
  • A crappy game demands an extremely strong beer to finish it out.  Yay.
  • And here I thought I'd review a good game.  What a fool I was.............

joe
This game will be reborn, shinny and chrome....

Beer 5:  Red Eye Coffee Porter by Two Brother Brewing
  • Yes, I finished the previous beer rather quickly, if only to forget how terribly this game is going. 
  • Coffee porters are made of awesome.  Were I able to smoke a cigar in this bar this would be the beer to accompany it.  Rich chocolate and coffee flavors flow from this beer like my hate for this game.
  • I care not of this game.  Writing matters not now....

Bells and whistles, by Jim

Fangraph
[Click for details at fangraphs.com]
Lawrence of Arabia: Yasmany Tomas, +20.2%
Hurricane Sandy: David Peralta, +13.2%
Sandy swimming-trunks: Jeremy Hellickson, -42.7%
Sandy Frank, Sandy Frank...: Owings, -11.7%; Saltalamacchia, -11.1%

A close-fought thread, with only half a dozen comments covering the top three. freeland1787, preston.salisbury and JoeCB1991. Others braving the storm were: AzRattler, DeadmanG, Diamondhacks, GuruB, James Attwood, Jim McLennan, Makakilo, MrMrrbi, SongBird, Xerostomia, ford.williams.10, gamepass, hotclaws, noblevillain, shoewizard, thunderpumpkin87 and xmet. Again, no Sedona Red comments, and the game sucked, so no Comment of the Night will be awarded.

We'll reconvene tomorrow afternoon as we try to avoid being swept: Chase Anderson starts for us, and Odrisa... Odins... Ondsi... there will be be a pitcher for the Padres too. 1:10pm first pitch.