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Pit Your Wits: Week 11

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Last week, I asked you to come up with a Jeff Foxworthy style "You might be a Diamondbacks fan..." joke. Lots of good responses, with people getting a lot of rec's and still not winning. Let's see who made the cut!

Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

In first place, once again, we have onedotfive in her usual, comfortable podium place:

You might be a Dbacks fan if

... you want to buy tickets for the post-season and the ticket seller asks "Why?"
... you have a tattoo that says "Goldy" instead of "Mom"
... you spend more time at the AZ Snake Pit website than you do at work
... you consider Randy Johnson's birthday a holiday

Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
by onedotfive on Jun 13, 2015 | 3:05 PM reply rec (8) flag actions

In second place, we have another one of the usual suspects, benhat!

You might be a Diamondbacks fan if...

...you can perfectly imitate the batting stances of Tony Batista and Craig Counsell
...your favorite color isn't red, it's Sedona red
...the only time you ever go to Taco Bell is to purchase a large drink
by benhat on Jun 14, 2015 | 1:27 PM reply rec (6) flag actions

And last, but not definitely not least, we have first time finisher, ryeandi!

You might be a Diamondbacks fan if...

use of the word "if" is required 3 or more times when describing what it'll take for your team to make the playoffs.
by ryeandi on Jun 16, 2015 | 11:48 AM reply rec (4) flag actions

And now for the updated standings! Onedotfive extends her lead, and benhat moves into a tie for second!

onedotfive-28

Benhat-20

preston.salisbury-20

Diamondhacks-9

Azrattler-7

AzDbacksFanInDC-6

freeland1787-6

hotclaws-6

Jim McLennan-6

TheGoldenSombrero-6

TylerO-5

ford.williams.10-3

TusconTim-3

soco-2

DbacksSkins-1

Diamondhacks-1

hventure-1

Rockkstarr12-1

ryeandi-1

As I write this, the interwebz are melting down because Alex Rodriguez hit his 3,000 hit and it was a home run. There's controversy because the guy who caught it won't give it back, steroids, and the fact it's Alex Rodriguez in general. There are also people who are saying that it needs an asterisk, or that it should be ignored, or something. I have a better solution. We just need new records. That's what I want you to do. I want you to come up with new milestones for Major League Baseball. They can be actually related to the game, or some sort of tangentially related idea. It's up to you, we just need to get new records. Then there will be no more controversy... Right? Right?