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Pit Your Wits: Week 8

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After forgetting to write the article last week an impromptu bye week, we return to our weekly competition series...

Jeff Hanisch-USA TODAY Sports

First off, some important housekeeping. In week six, Azrattler posted an entry that got three recs. That was good enough for second place, but I neglected to mention that in week seven, and thus give them their three points. I am so sorry, and I award you an extra bonus point for my stupidity. Now for this bi-week's entry!

A lot of solutions to our pitching's problems, but preston.salisbury had the most popular one!

Clearly

the reason for the struggles is that the pitchers just aren't afraid enough of failure. So install a pool filled with crocodiles below the pitching mound, and turn the mound itself into a trap door. Also, electrify the pitching rubber. Miss your location once, you get shocked. Miss it twice, and the mound drops you into the pool.

What? You thought you got three strikes? Sorry, guys, but three strikes are for batters. Pitchers make one mistake, and it can wind up in the seats, so you should be THANKFUL you get a second chance.

Benefits to this plan: Chase would be the only stadium in the league with multiple pools, one stocked with aquatic life and one not.

Drawbacks: The logistics of taking it on the road might result in the most extreme home/road splits ever seen, and our road trip defections might begin to rival those of Cuba.

This space intentionally left blank.

by preston.salisbury on May 18, 2015 | 6:16 AM reply rec (5) flag actions

In second, assuming her familiar place on the podium, is onedotfive!

My solution to the pitching problem is similar to the 3 most important things in real estate...
Location, location, location.

Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

by onedotfive on May 17, 2015 | 6:38 PM reply rec (4) flag actions

And in third, we have a tie (those seem to happen a lot. Interesting) between benhat and DbacksSkins!

THIS one is simple
We need to trade Jarrod Saltalamacchia for Tim Lincecum. Then, we turn Lincecum into a catcher and Goldy into a pitcher. Lincecum tosses the ball to Goldy and he keeps his foot on the rubber, swings his bat, and hits a strike right down the middle of the strike zone every time.
Not only would this prevent other teams from ever scoring runs, it would make Goldy a Silver Slugger, Gold Glover, AND Cy Young winner

by benhat on May 18, 2015 | 12:51 PM reply rec (3) flag actions

Stop eating free Taco Bell tacos
too many runs

"Seager is sexy, and Flower is best"

by DbacksSkins on May 17, 2015 | 5:14 PM reply rec (3) flag actions

And here are the updated standings!

onedotfive-21

preston.salisbury-17

Benhat-11

freeland1787-6

Jim McLennan-6

TheGoldenSombrero-6

TylerO-5

Azrattler-4

Diamondhacks-3

ford.williams.10-3

hotclaws-3

TusconTim-3

soco-2

DbacksSkins-1

Diamondhacks-1

hventure-1

Rockkstarr12-1

Now, thanks to a crappy memory, I'm not doing the really good prompt idea I came up with during work and then forgot during the dinner rush, because, well, I forgot it. All I've got for you this week is a caption contest. Pretty awesome picture, and you'll find it at the top of this article, but still a caption contest. Go!