Diamondbacks 9, Giants 0: Beer overwhelms, but Goldy protects

So much nom nom nom!!!

Beer 1:  CoCoNut Porter by Maui Brewing Co.

• Such awesome, much beer.  Toasted coconuts really do make a difference adding another layer of flavor to an oft made style.  When this beer came into the Phoenix market three years back I was genuinely excited like I am for the upcoming Star Wars film.
  
• Baseball time!!!!!  A fine beer in hand and Inciarte at bat, but an underwhelming pop-up leaves a bitter taste in my mouth as I type.  The hops may have had something to do with that as well........
• A Meh, top of the 1st, Collmenter's turn to see if he can have himself a good start as the "ace".  Pitching will always be the #1 question/problem this year, but I'm still convinced it'll be better than the tire fire of 2014.
• Through the 1st: 0-0  Collmenter get's a relatively bloodless inning under his belt.  Truly the Lord Goldy works in mysterious ways.
• Lamb just keeps hitting.  Who among us fans thought he would looks this good coming out of the gates?  Will he keep batting 400? No, but I'll be dammed if he loses his job to Tomas any time soon.
• Owings, yea I know the talking heads in the booth have been saying it a bunch, but we need him to start hitting.  He's hitting so far below the Mendoza line that James Cameron is diving as we speak to search for it and raise it.

He couldn't find it, but Owings got a walk at least.....

Beer 2:  Habitus Rye IPA by Mike Hess

• No relation to Rudolf, har har har, but certainly a good brewery.  I've written before and I'll keep one preaching it; rye beers are fun and often good, especially with an IPA.
• Yes it's only week two of the season, but what the hell is it with SF and odd number years?  Really, it's baffling.  SF is a team of mystery and intrigue.
• After the 2nd:  0-0.  Collmenter certainly looking a bit better (knock on wood) but one has to wonder how much of that is due to a lackluster Giants team.  Here's to hopping Josh is climbing out of that bad slump he was in **glug glug glug**
• Paul Goldschmidt:  First of his Name, Leader of the Armies of the North, Protector of the Good, Vanquisher of the Wicked, Slayer of the Lincecum and Bane of all Pitchers.
• EdBiggHead writes "Let us bow our heads and know that Goldy will provideth our teams with runs.  That he, most clean, will anoint our team with clutch hits that will shake the foundations of sin."
• 1-0 Dbacks after Lord Goldy's 13th RBI of the year.  You know you're good when you can pretty much pencil in 100+ RBI's for the year only two weeks into the season.

Pictured:  God Emperor Goldy

• Just after my reverent rambling Lamb gets ANOTHER hit with 2 RBI's to go with it.  Perhaps he seeks to usurp Goldy's throne?  Heresy!!!!!!!!!!!!
• 3-0 Dbacks after the 3rd.  Collmenter cruises again, and my beer is yummy. Liking this night so far.

Beer 3: Evil Cousin Double IPA by Heretic Brewing Co.

• First time with this beer and actually anything by this brewery out of Fairfield CA.  As my readers know, I'm a hop-head, and proud of it.  This Imp IPA is pretty well balanced (not too bitter or malty), but doesn't really stand out to me.  Like they were missing just one hop variety that would have made it complete, or perhaps my taste buds are still spoiled from the Heady Topper I consumed last week. That, no joke, is a beer of the gods.
  
• Owings must have sensed my typing as he gets his fourth hit of the year.  Then steals second and then tags up on a pop-up and takes third.  I must have pissed him off something fierce!
• 4-0 Dbacks.  Collmenter, sensing my doubt in his skill, gets himself a nice RBI single.  I'll take it.
• EdBiggHead with another great quote "Peavy is one pitch away from an AARP membership."  Lo and behold he's right, one more hit allowed and he's done in the middle of the 4th.
• Goldy, besides being the High Lord of RBI's, is also the Dark God of Double Plays.  After that play I'm considering starting a Church of Goldy.  4-0 Dbacks after the 4th.  Goldy truly protects us and guides us.
• Before you even know it Collmenter cruises through another inning and the Dbacks tag on another Run.  5-0 Dbacks
• Still 5-0 after the 5th.  Collmenter looking solid, thought not amazing, whereas in the bottom of the 5th it looks like the Gigantes are about to go to their third pitcher of the game.
• Just watch the Batman vs. Superman trailer.  Maybe, just maybe, this will be an awesome film.  Though the actor choice for Batman makes me wonder......
• Perhaps Jake Lamb is Batman and Goldy is Superman......Makes you wonder how we'd ever lose a game.
• Another run gets tagged on and we're at 6-0 going into the bottom of the 6th.  My beer nears empty, this problem shall be fixed soon.

I think Goldy's got this, but it might be a close fight.....

Beer 4:  Shipwreched Double IPA by Mission Brewery

• I'm pumping the breaks a bit now after two beers above 7% as this is only at 6.5%.  Time to kick things into high gear.  This baby is 32oz and looks like a small oil drum and is 9.2% by volume.  Good beer too, though a little on the malty side.  This one should be finished well after the game.......or so I pray.
• Six innings in and Collmenter is looking great and only has 79 pitches going for him.  Today is a good day.
• I take credit for getting Owings going tonight.  2 singles and a walk.  You're welcome.
• Holy Mother of Goldy, Collmenter just got another RBI and a triple at that!  Truly these are rare times we live in.  On a side note, is that a professional wrestler yelling into the TV mic on the field?  Seriously, I'm not the only one who hears that guy right?
• 7-0 Dbacks thanks to the combined efforts of Lord Goldy, Lamb and Collmenter.  Goldy being a merciful being of unending light, spares Vogelson.
• ENDER!!!!!  I'm pretty sure Trumbo would never make such a catch.....ever.  Thanks to his efforts the Dbacks got through the 7th still up by 7.
• 7-0 Dbacks.....still after 8 inning.  Collmenter.  Either he needs to play the Giants more or he's waking up from his slumber.  Let us hopes it the later.
  
• Collmenter is made of hitting.  Gets yet another hit in the top of the 9th.  Maybe I've had too much beer....
• Bring in everyone.  EVERYONE!!!!!!!!

Because we need all the runs.

• 9-0 going into the bottom of the 9th.  Didn't see this coming, and especially didn't see Collmenter pitching for the shut out.  Strange times indeed.
• Win.  Good times and a great Collmenter.  More beer shall be had and a big cigar.

Bells and whistles, by Jim

[Click for details, at Fangraphs.com]
Rally tenders: Jake Lamb, +21.1%
Love me tender: Josh Collmenter, +20.7%
Non-tender candidate: Nick Ahmed, -5.5%

A strange, but undeniably cheerful Gameday Thread - just do not get me started on the boy-band discussion - with over 1,200 comments from 32 commentors. DbacksSkins, James Attwood and luckycc were the top three, with soco also cracking three digits. Also present: AzRattler, BIGredmc, Clefo, Diamondhacks, GuruB, Jim McLennan, JoeCB1991, Majabe, Makakilo, MrMrrbi, PR151, SenSurround, SongBird, TinySarabia, Zavada's Moustache, asteroid, azbaseballfan, bbtng, carey.adams, cheese1213, dbrowell, ford.williams.10, freeland1787, gallo del cielo, hotclaws, jinnah, mrssoco and onedotfive.

jinnah had the most rec'd comment, but that was about another team, so let's go with Clefo's fractionally-less rec'd if perhaps slightly hyperbolic:

THIS IS THE BEST GAME EVER

The win gives us two more shots at our first road win since July, and sends the Giants to their eighth straight defeat. Tomorrow 'Lucky' Rubby De La Rosa starts for us, and the offense will get another crack at Chris Heston.