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Diamondbacks 8, Padres 4: Padres win chances are Endered

Like any random person on any night at a Waffle House in a bad part of town, Ender Inciarte busted in the door and just started wailing on people.

Denis Poroy/Getty Images

The Diamondbacks rolled into San Diego for the first time this season... Okay, I don't mean literally "Roll", like end over end like you would down a hill. They probably took a plane, which has landing gear, which is a wheel, which rolls, so get off my back, you're not my real dad.

Rubby De La Rosa made his second start of the season, against Andrew (Straight) Cashner (Homey) of the Padres. Would Rubby be able to hold the newfangled Padres lineup in check? You probably gathered from the score and such that the answer was "More or less...?" Also, we must erect shrines to Ender Inciarte, because he could destroy us without a second thought if he so chose.

The Diamondbacks got the scoring started in the Top of the 2nd when Tuffy Gosewisch reached base on a throwing error by Yangervis Solarte (Anagram for "A Veterinary Gloss", this means something) , causing Mark Trumbo to score to make it 1-0 Diamondbacks. More happened that inning, as Ender Inciarte doubled off of Cashner to score Gosewisch and Jake Lamb to make it 3-0. Then Chris Owings decided to hit again and scored Inciarte on a single to make it 4-0.

Rubby De La Rosa showed his skill of pitching with a lead from there... which is to say, there might not be one (SSS) Yonder Alonso homered in the Bottom of the 2nd to make it 4-1. Solarte doubled in a run in the 3rd and singled in one in the 5th to make it 4-3 by the time De La Rosa left the game after the 6th, which is a fairly impressive accomplishment considering how the pitching staff has gone so far. Or so not far. See what I did there?

Rubby's line for the night: 6.0 IP, 3 ER, 5 K, 1 BB. Solid and respectable, all around. Unless you don't think so, that's fine, it's okay to feel differently about things.

However, relative to other pitching performances so far this year, this one is worth celebrating.

The Diamondbacks added another run in the 7th off of Padres reliever Brandon Maurer when Paul Goldschmidt grounded out to short to score Inciarte. Inciarte himself got a double through what can only be described as "Wil Myers indifference." Shawn Kelly came on in the 8th and it did not go well for the next Padres reliever. Tuffy singled home Jake Lamb to make it 6-3. Two more followed when Inciarte tripled to make it 8-3.

Evan Marshall came into the game for the Diamondbacks in the 8th, and because of that, the Padres added a run. Matt Kemp beat a shift to score Wil Myers to make it 8-4. They threatened for more, but Kemp was thrown out at third on a Justin Upton (why does that name sound familiar?) single, then Derek Norris struck out to end the threat.

Daniel Hudson came on in the 9th and went 1-2-3, making the Diamondbacks a game above .500.... Which is really weird to type, like a word that you say too many times and it seems to lose meaning.

Source: FanGraphs

The Bear: Ender Inciarte (+24.8%)
Timothy Treadwell: Aaron Hill (-8.5%)

I guess you could say this was... Ender's game... I mean you could say that, but you'd be a terrible person for doing so and would have to go to the Shame Hole(TM)


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ZM gets the COTN

Padres fans booing

"This game is not up to the high standard of baseball we have been accustomed to over the past 45 years!"

These two teams are insatiable, as they go at it again tomorrow night. Jeremy Hellickson takes on Odrisamer Despaigne (Anagram: A Ad Needier Gorp Miss.) Catch it if you can!